0:00 [SPEAKER_02]: Weight Watchers now offers access to affordable GLP once. 0:03 [SPEAKER_02]: It works for members like I'm Haley and I've lost 100 pounds. 0:08 [SPEAKER_02]: Weight Watchers has everything I need. 0:10 [SPEAKER_02]: From weight loss medications to nutrition support and help with my side effects, it's all in one place. 0:15 [SPEAKER_03]: Weight Watchers handles the insurance for you and offers affordable cash pay options. 0:20 [SPEAKER_03]: With our program, our members are losing more weight with expert nutrition and side effects support. 0:24 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm Mike, and I've lost a hundred and thirty-five pounds. 0:27 [SPEAKER_01]: Way of watchers for describing GLP1 medications, it's been a life changer. 0:31 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Syria, and I lost 80 pounds on weight watchers. 0:34 [SPEAKER_00]: I realized that it would take more than a prescription to lose weight and feel good on a GLP1. 0:40 [SPEAKER_03]: Better results, expert support, lose more weight, make it last. 0:44 [SPEAKER_01]: I can't imagine doing a GLP1 without weight watchers. 0:47 [SPEAKER_03]: Get started for as low as $25 at WeightWatchers.com slash GLP1. 0:49 [SPEAKER_03]: For over 60 years, we've helped millions of members find what works for them. 0:52 [SPEAKER_03]: Now, it's your turn. 0:53 [SPEAKER_03]: WeightWatchers, watch it work. 0:53 [SPEAKER_03]: [♪ music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in background music playing in 1:31 [SPEAKER_07]: Aaron is a longtime friend of our podcast, and of Jim Musk, in particular. 1:37 [SPEAKER_07]: they connected in the Keeper's Facebook group after the release of that series on Netflix and have been in touch ever since. 1:45 [SPEAKER_07]: The abuse at the center of that docu series has also sadly played out in the Irons' own life, and she's joining us today to share her story of trauma and also of hope. 1:57 [SPEAKER_07]: Her tormentors weren't priests, but family members, and the pain of those 2:06 [SPEAKER_07]: in confusion. 2:08 [SPEAKER_07]: But she is grateful to have emerged from today. 2:11 [SPEAKER_07]: I'm going to hand the interview over to Gemma and let her take it from here. 2:16 [SPEAKER_05]: I always say this, but this is a really special guess because she has a story to tell that's going to impact everybody that's listening. 2:24 [SPEAKER_05]: My friend, Erin Labor, is with us tonight. 2:28 [SPEAKER_05]: Erin and I got to be friends by Facebook Messenger, which happens with some of you. 2:32 [SPEAKER_05]: So we've continued that friendship. 2:35 [SPEAKER_05]: So I'm going to introduce Erin Labor who was in Lakeland, Florida. 2:41 [SPEAKER_05]: Erin, how are you doing? 2:43 [SPEAKER_05]: Hi, Demo. 2:44 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm doing great. 2:45 [SPEAKER_05]: Thank you so much for having me. 2:47 [SPEAKER_05]: We're going to kind of let you story unfold because there really is a chronological timeline. 2:51 [SPEAKER_05]: Aaron, to new tells a little bit about your background, how old you are, where you've lived, what you're growing up was like. 2:58 [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, I was born in May 27, 1978. 3:02 [SPEAKER_06]: In Greenford, Pennsylvania, which was a country town 3:12 [SPEAKER_06]: shown and William were both teenagers and they weren't ready to be parents. 3:19 [SPEAKER_06]: So I didn't actually pay together. 3:23 [SPEAKER_06]: I was raised by my mom. 3:25 [SPEAKER_06]: She did the best she could, but I was left with people because she had to work. 3:29 [SPEAKER_06]: Eventually I was sexually abused by my uncle at a very 3:40 [SPEAKER_06]: So I kept it a secret for a long time. 3:42 [SPEAKER_06]: My history of sexual abuse is the reason that I chose to try alcohol and drug. 3:52 [SPEAKER_06]: I almost died. 3:53 [SPEAKER_06]: I just didn't give up, but I wanted to. 3:58 [SPEAKER_06]: to share this story because there are so many people that are suffering from addiction, whether or not you're directly or indirectly affected. 4:07 [SPEAKER_05]: So when you were abused, how old were you when that started? 4:11 [SPEAKER_05]: And it was your mother's sister's husband, so it was like your uncle. 4:18 [SPEAKER_06]: Yes, it was my uncle. 4:20 [SPEAKER_06]: I, I believe, for I remember some things that he would do that were very uncomfortable. 4:25 [SPEAKER_06]: And I didn't want to go there, but my mother being so young, I was left different places. 4:31 [SPEAKER_06]: And because I was afraid to say anything, I didn't understand why this was happening. 4:36 [SPEAKER_06]: But I understood that if I were to say anything that I would be hurt. 4:39 [SPEAKER_06]: How long did that go one? 4:42 [SPEAKER_06]: actually on and off till I was about 13 or 12. 4:46 [SPEAKER_06]: I wish that I could say that was actually the only isolated incident. 4:50 [SPEAKER_06]: There was another incident too with a family member that I won't go in too much detail for a sensitivity reason, but I was also sexually abused by it, because that was hard on me. 5:05 [SPEAKER_06]: I really didn't have anyone to look up to. 5:08 [SPEAKER_06]: but my older cousin, I'm an only child. 5:11 [SPEAKER_05]: So that made it even more difficult, I'm sure. 5:13 [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, there just was a structure, I remember staying with my dad sometimes and he was very intelligent man as far as books and mathematics, but just had no social tooth. 5:28 [SPEAKER_06]: He was been alcoholic, I remember a lot of parties and I know that he was, 5:34 [SPEAKER_06]: Brian Marwana and always using some sense, but I always would try to get his attention in one way or another. 5:43 [SPEAKER_06]: He didn't spend some time with me. 5:45 [SPEAKER_06]: We went fishing a couple of times, and then he would take me to the bar, which I totally counted that as family time. 5:54 [SPEAKER_05]: Were you still living in Pennsylvania at that time? 5:56 [SPEAKER_06]: Yes, I was. 5:57 [SPEAKER_06]: He lived in a 6:03 [SPEAKER_07]: Aaron, I know that you mentioned that your abuse happened between the ages of four and 13 or 14. 6:09 [SPEAKER_07]: I know for a lot of people we have fear that either our children or children that we are around, that they're going through something similar. 6:18 [SPEAKER_07]: Looking back, can you think of any signs that people could have noticed or is there anything that other people could have 6:30 [SPEAKER_06]: not as an excellent question. 6:32 [SPEAKER_06]: I definitely didn't feel comfortable. 6:33 [SPEAKER_06]: And so there wasn't really a whole lot of rental guidance on either side. 6:37 [SPEAKER_06]: I do believe that a certain point I acted out is for us behaviors. 6:44 [SPEAKER_06]: I would dress like an Eskimo, even if it was hot out. 6:49 [SPEAKER_06]: So there was one thing in moodyness, angry outbursts. 6:54 [SPEAKER_06]: I really don't know if 6:57 [SPEAKER_06]: So I had many conversations with adults where they would ask me things, definitely communicating. 7:03 [SPEAKER_06]: I was here, loved one, even if conversations uncomfortable, but definitely behavioral changes, sudden disobedience, we're doing things. 7:13 [SPEAKER_06]: I invited a whole bunch of boys to come to the house that I babysit at who I was doing things that I think were maybe looking back or a cry for help, or at least, 7:25 [SPEAKER_06]: I mean, it's not right. 7:27 [SPEAKER_06]: There are definitely, there was no line of communication and don't blame anybody. 7:33 [SPEAKER_06]: I don't think that was intentional. 7:35 [SPEAKER_06]: I think that was just the time and the period at my mother with the kid having a kid. 7:39 [SPEAKER_05]: Aaron, what about teachers? 7:41 [SPEAKER_05]: How did you do in school? 7:42 [SPEAKER_05]: And did any teachers ever show advocacy or care about maybe your emotional well-being? 7:52 [SPEAKER_06]: I must have been good at hiding it. 7:56 [SPEAKER_06]: had to have been because I don't remember anything standing out. 7:59 [SPEAKER_06]: I think what it boils down to is my coping mechanism was the dissociative state. 8:05 [SPEAKER_06]: Like a fantasy world, obviously that's what my psyche had to do to protect itself. 8:11 [SPEAKER_06]: I think that I was very good at acting like everything was okay or at least stuffing it and ignoring it and not dealing with it and thinking about it. 8:20 [SPEAKER_06]: I remember 8:25 [SPEAKER_06]: my friends might have a better situation than I did. 8:28 [SPEAKER_06]: I could tell that, but I think I was very good at hiding it. 8:32 [SPEAKER_05]: Do you think that's typical of people who are abused from a very young age, like four? 8:39 [SPEAKER_05]: You don't know what is normal when what is in terms of sexuality. 8:44 [SPEAKER_05]: And then when you're 13, you're becoming a teenager and then a woman, do you think a lot of kids who experience that at a young age develop those mechanisms for being really good at hiding it? 8:58 [SPEAKER_06]: absolutely, as I grew older and my trials and tribulations, my drug been alcohol started. 9:07 [SPEAKER_06]: I remember hearing somebody say one out of very three people has been affected by such abuse. 9:12 [SPEAKER_06]: So I did my own little study at least as prominent as that, if not one in two, either directly or indirectly. 9:29 [SPEAKER_06]: does happen. 9:30 [SPEAKER_06]: And if people do not know, what I've seen, and I don't want to say everyone, but I've seen this in a couple of other scenarios, too, where there was situation, but didn't involve me, but yet it was special abuse where people didn't know how to handle it. 9:46 [SPEAKER_06]: You would think right away, you're going to report it and protect your child. 9:51 [SPEAKER_06]: I have seen swear people, 9:57 [SPEAKER_05]: Erin, when did you begin using and was at a conscious decision to help you forget what was going on or how did that occur? 10:06 [SPEAKER_05]: When did you make that transition? 10:08 [SPEAKER_06]: I remember a fair mental thing that's like being 13 and being at my girlfriend's house where it just retains looking for trouble. 10:18 [SPEAKER_06]: There was something called many things or some kind of energy. 10:28 [SPEAKER_06]: I think what I was looking for was just the feeling of being accepted, not really thinking at all. 10:32 [SPEAKER_06]: It was just experimental things. 10:35 [SPEAKER_06]: And then at some point, as I got older, it's my senior. 10:39 [SPEAKER_06]: This is my coping mechanism, the high school parties. 10:42 [SPEAKER_06]: That's where it started becoming more of a serious problem. 10:46 [SPEAKER_06]: And did that work for you? 10:47 [SPEAKER_06]: It worked for me, not really dealing with anything. 10:51 [SPEAKER_06]: I kept on and kept on until I became a permanent solution. 10:57 [SPEAKER_06]: looking back at that to say, but I don't think that I participated in much of my life until later on, but I think the goal is to escape and elude. 11:09 [SPEAKER_05]: Did you finish high school? 11:11 [SPEAKER_05]: I did. 11:11 [SPEAKER_05]: I did. 11:15 [SPEAKER_06]: Did you 11:24 [SPEAKER_06]: gave up on that and started using more heavily. 11:28 [SPEAKER_07]: Aaron, what kind of drugs are we talking about at that time when you were around 13 or 14 when you started using them? 11:35 [SPEAKER_07]: What did those drugs go into? 11:37 [SPEAKER_06]: My 13 years were talking 13 or 14. 11:41 [SPEAKER_06]: I don't even know that I tried marijuana until I was probably 17 or 15, but definitely alcohol, beer, 11:49 [SPEAKER_06]: wine coolers when I was 13 or 14. 11:52 [SPEAKER_06]: Nothing too serious. 11:54 [SPEAKER_06]: And then in my junior senior year of high school, it was like everything at this mortgage board. 12:00 [SPEAKER_06]: It was like, let's go ahead and just have a whole wood stock experience. 12:05 [SPEAKER_06]: It was cocaine. 12:06 [SPEAKER_06]: I tried. 12:07 [SPEAKER_06]: It was 12:17 [SPEAKER_06]: Benzos, Zamaq, Springbite, and Demethan Penamine, and eventually heroin would literally almost took me out was to be heroin. 12:29 [SPEAKER_07]: So it all started without alcohol? 12:31 [SPEAKER_06]: And I started with alcohol and I would say the opioid addiction started with, I had intermediate, intermediate, so there was something that would require a pain-pilth grip from 12:46 [SPEAKER_06]: I remember feeling just like I could like happy like you for it. 12:52 [SPEAKER_06]: It was more than just help with the pain. 12:54 [SPEAKER_06]: It was like, oh, I could do anything. 12:57 [SPEAKER_06]: There was confidence there. 12:59 [SPEAKER_06]: I remember to definitely grab my attention. 13:02 [SPEAKER_06]: And I think that was the catalyst and you would eventually lead to a deadly heroin. 13:08 [SPEAKER_05]: Erin, you shared with me in the past that you've been married and you have a child. 13:14 [SPEAKER_05]: Were you working during this time that you were experimenting and becoming addicted to drugs? 13:23 [SPEAKER_05]: Can you give us an idea of what your life was like when you finished school and should you have a job, when did you get married, how did all that work to help? 13:32 [SPEAKER_06]: Great for graduation. 13:33 [SPEAKER_06]: And my best friend was going to USF in Tampa. 13:36 [SPEAKER_06]: And so I got a job, a really good job collecting on past new mortgages. 13:43 [SPEAKER_06]: And it was like a really good pay. 13:49 [SPEAKER_06]: I remember being able to live off that and have fun. 13:52 [SPEAKER_06]: And at that point, my friends and I would go to clubs, stamp clubs, and raves or whatever they were called then. 13:58 [SPEAKER_06]: We would take X to C, and get out with some hot during the day and go to work. 14:02 [SPEAKER_06]: Like sometimes I remember going on my lunch break from work and going to the helper river and there was a part and like some of being lean, but I don't want to stay out of control. 14:11 [SPEAKER_06]: I was using drugs, but 14:14 [SPEAKER_06]: I definitely went to work and he might build on time, and I don't think it has more than me then. 14:21 [SPEAKER_06]: You were functioning. 14:22 [SPEAKER_05]: You were functioning. 14:24 [SPEAKER_06]: Right. 14:25 [SPEAKER_06]: Right. 14:26 [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah. 14:26 [SPEAKER_06]: That was functioning. 14:28 [SPEAKER_06]: And I thought I was having a great time. 14:30 [SPEAKER_06]: So when did you get married? 14:31 [SPEAKER_06]: That was some time and oh, for I believed. 14:36 [SPEAKER_06]: What happened was I was dating someone and we got for them. 14:40 [SPEAKER_06]: So it wasn't like a happy marriage. 14:43 [SPEAKER_06]: In fact, I was very sad, I remember crying. 14:47 [SPEAKER_06]: I just thought I was a right thing to do when I was trying to do the right thing. 14:51 [SPEAKER_06]: I just remember that my mother and law was on her honeymoon with us. 14:57 [SPEAKER_06]: And we were all writing in a canoe down the river. 15:02 [SPEAKER_06]: I think it was almost NASA. 15:03 [SPEAKER_06]: And I just remember it was really wanting to dive in the water. 15:06 [SPEAKER_06]: I did have a relationship with this person. 15:09 [SPEAKER_06]: And it was that like love. 15:12 [SPEAKER_06]: the things that I like about them, that throughout my story, relationship, and men were not, they were, I don't think that I respect the number here about them, but maybe some of them were just 15:33 [SPEAKER_06]: their relationship, it really didn't work out. 15:35 [SPEAKER_06]: I don't know, I had the fish didn't, or maybe I was just looking for a reason just to walk completely away. 15:40 [SPEAKER_06]: But yeah, that was a no way shape or form ready for a marriage. 15:45 [SPEAKER_06]: Nor did I have a clue what it would really take. 15:47 [SPEAKER_06]: And what it would take is to help a person. 15:51 [SPEAKER_05]: So you actually had a miscarriage, and you separated from the man that was a dad. 16:00 [SPEAKER_05]: Is that correct? 16:01 [SPEAKER_05]: Yes. 16:02 [SPEAKER_06]: Ethan, him later. 16:03 [SPEAKER_06]: I did not marry Ethan Fad. 16:10 [SPEAKER_06]: And to be honest, it was one of those relations with the weather. 16:14 [SPEAKER_06]: We were deeming and I just felt safe. 16:19 [SPEAKER_06]: We were just like friends, but up together and went out. 16:23 [SPEAKER_06]: And then I, the increment, so this was years later. 16:30 [SPEAKER_06]: And by that time, I had recognized where a judge had become a problem, but I was able to take care of it with counseling. 16:40 [SPEAKER_06]: And I was able to put myself in check. 16:44 [SPEAKER_06]: Because a lot of it was hearing over from when I was like in my early 20s, and when it was kind of getting serious about life, yeah, I really wouldn't be able to step up so easily. 16:52 [SPEAKER_06]: But I did have Ethan, and I did have Ethan, and I did have Ethan, and I did have Ethan, and I did have Ethan, and I did have Ethan, and I did have Ethan, and I did have Ethan, and I did have Ethan, and I did have Ethan, and I did have Ethan, and I did have Ethan, 16:58 [SPEAKER_06]: definitely had every intention of being the best mother that I've been, which I think they're almost everybody does. 17:05 [SPEAKER_06]: Nobody really wants to be sure. 17:07 [SPEAKER_05]: It's your organic mother. 17:08 [SPEAKER_05]: I want our listeners to know that when she and I became friends, I didn't know any of this. 17:14 [SPEAKER_05]: I knew Erin as this great light. 17:18 [SPEAKER_05]: in a very dark story. 17:20 [SPEAKER_05]: She and I became Facebook friends and you just know when somebody clicks an Aaron and I clicked not because we had shared experiences because her history is not my history. 17:33 [SPEAKER_05]: had to go. 17:34 [SPEAKER_05]: My family for being a 50s family was pretty functional. 17:38 [SPEAKER_05]: Nobody was addicted. 17:40 [SPEAKER_05]: Nobody was in jail. 17:41 [SPEAKER_05]: Nobody was beaten up on anybody. 17:44 [SPEAKER_05]: But there was something about Aaron that she and I had this connection. 17:49 [SPEAKER_05]: And the connection was that we both like to sing. 17:52 [SPEAKER_05]: When Erin and I began to communicate on messenger, Erin used to leave messages that were singing messages and I never knew that you could do that on messenger. 18:01 [SPEAKER_05]: Erin would say good morning, Gemma, how is your day going? 18:06 [SPEAKER_05]: And I was like, what is going on? 18:09 [SPEAKER_05]: So I jumped right in there and I'd be like, 18:13 [SPEAKER_05]: Good day, sunshine, good day, and so we have this crazy but fun and chill connection and we're just sing back and forth, right? 18:28 [SPEAKER_05]: So Erin shared with me that she had this amazing job at a shed place. 18:39 [SPEAKER_05]: Now 18:39 [SPEAKER_05]: you buy a shed and you go to the huge parking lot somewhere and you look at the sheds and you go inside the sheds and arombe the person that would sell you the shed, all right? 18:51 [SPEAKER_05]: So she was like the she said lady. 18:54 [SPEAKER_05]: So we got to know each other and we share a lot of stories. 18:59 [SPEAKER_05]: And I still did not know. 19:01 [SPEAKER_05]: I know that she had some issues with drugs in the past. 19:05 [SPEAKER_05]: But Erin always seemed like totally loose it. 19:08 [SPEAKER_05]: She had a job, she had a kid. 19:10 [SPEAKER_05]: And Erin, do you want to talk about that time for a little bit? 19:15 [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, my dream was to be a nurse. 19:17 [SPEAKER_06]: And actually when medical speaking school, my first attempt in getting sober was actually a month voluntary treatment because of my choices. 19:27 [SPEAKER_06]: I did very well in medical speaking school and anatomy. 19:30 [SPEAKER_06]: I missed one out of 300 on my final. 19:33 [SPEAKER_06]: I didn't believe in myself, not one bit, but I wanted to be a nurse. 19:39 [SPEAKER_06]: At the time that I did get this drum, I have eight years sober and I was in my real life. 19:48 [SPEAKER_06]: So, this job, I loved it. 19:53 [SPEAKER_06]: I absolutely loved pulling sheds in metal buildings and artboards. 19:58 [SPEAKER_06]: She was also a great forum for nobody, you've noticed maybe right away that I was losing my crap. 20:04 [SPEAKER_06]: Gemma, it's funny when you say bright light and everything because that's who I want to be. 20:09 [SPEAKER_06]: And that's who I'm going to show you that I am. 20:12 [SPEAKER_06]: But in all actuality, what I can't show that I've lost really way, and I don't know how to get that. 20:23 [SPEAKER_06]: And I'm scared. 20:23 [SPEAKER_06]: And I just know that because you were good at covering it up. 20:27 [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, nobody wants to be like, hey, I'm a smack at her because we come into each other's life for a reason or see them gem Personality was something I noticed right from the get of the keepers. 20:40 [SPEAKER_06]: I loved the way she would just get into it get busy and ask these questions and personality and 20:46 [SPEAKER_06]: I was like, I'm going, no, this woman, but if I didn't have this part of me, if I didn't have this ugly secret because who would want to be friends with me, I definitely was not worth coming and I was in huge denial because I know for me to have gone through all that work lately month of treatment, basically someone else. 21:07 [SPEAKER_06]: retraining you out alive and teaching you about the disease and from both the end point was so much. 21:12 [SPEAKER_06]: And then to go from that to where you're living a good life and you're for a good role model for your child to, okay, what happened? 21:22 [SPEAKER_06]: My relapse started with, I promise you, it started with a behavior, something of self will, where maybe I stopped going to meetings, that's usually where it starts or stop 21:37 [SPEAKER_06]: but whether I like it or not, that's the only thing. 21:41 [SPEAKER_05]: In the meantime, you had also friended some of the other people that were in the keeper, some of the survivors. 21:47 [SPEAKER_05]: And one of them was concerned about you. 21:50 [SPEAKER_05]: And she said to me, I don't know if you've seen this video that Aaron posted on Facebook. 21:57 [SPEAKER_05]: But I don't think she's slow-said. 22:00 [SPEAKER_05]: I think there's something wrong. 22:01 [SPEAKER_05]: And in the video, I don't know what you were doing, but you were like shubbing furniture around or doing something in the office at the shed light. 22:10 [SPEAKER_05]: You were singing, and not too crazy, you're losing it. 22:14 [SPEAKER_05]: I thought maybe you had something to drink or you were high, maybe you've been smoking marijuana, and I said, I'll check it out and see how she's doing, and you were fine with me. 22:26 [SPEAKER_05]: So I didn't really put a whole lot of concern into that video. 22:32 [SPEAKER_05]: But the next thing that happened was that you disappeared. 22:37 [SPEAKER_05]: Literally friends, she disappeared. 22:41 [SPEAKER_05]: And we had this good relationship. 22:43 [SPEAKER_05]: She was talking about come into visit. 22:45 [SPEAKER_05]: I had no idea that the addiction relapse had happened. 22:51 [SPEAKER_05]: And when Erin disappeared, I got upset. 22:55 [SPEAKER_05]: And so I tried to find Erin. 22:59 [SPEAKER_05]: I called her. 23:00 [SPEAKER_05]: I texted her. 23:02 [SPEAKER_05]: I messaged her. 23:07 [SPEAKER_05]: This might be a surprise to Shane, but if you all remember Kelly the box girl, we have a friend in Lakeland, Florida, which is where Aaron lives. 23:18 [SPEAKER_05]: And her name is Stephanie the Found lady. 23:23 [SPEAKER_05]: So the only person I know to contact because I couldn't find Aaron and I couldn't find Aaron's mom. 23:31 [SPEAKER_05]: I contacted Stefan. 23:33 [SPEAKER_03]: This is the new Weight Watchers. 23:36 [SPEAKER_03]: It works. 23:37 [SPEAKER_03]: From members like JoJo. 23:38 [SPEAKER_03]: who's learning simple, healthy habits. 23:41 [SPEAKER_03]: Sharia, who's making progress with meds, and Kim, who still gets to eat what she loves. 23:46 [SPEAKER_03]: For over 60 years, we've helped millions of members find what works for them. 23:51 [SPEAKER_03]: Now, it's your turn. 23:53 [SPEAKER_03]: Watch your life open up. 23:55 [SPEAKER_03]: Watch your story shift. 23:56 [SPEAKER_03]: Watch what you're capable of. 23:58 [SPEAKER_03]: Watch it work. 24:00 [SPEAKER_03]: Get started today at weightwatchers.com. 24:03 [SPEAKER_07]: life can get overwhelming, and talking to someone can make all the difference. 24:09 [SPEAKER_07]: Better help, the sponsor of this episode, make starting therapy simple. 24:14 [SPEAKER_07]: Complete a short questionnaire and you'll be matched with a licensed therapist, and as little as a couple of days, you can connect by message, phone, or video, from wherever you feel comfortable. 24:27 [SPEAKER_07]: And if the first therapist 24:33 [SPEAKER_07]: Better help include a journal for personal reflection and daily group sessions on a variety of topics and they accept each essay and FSA cards. 24:44 [SPEAKER_07]: with over 2,000,000 users and a 4. star rating on trust pilot, better help is a trusted platform for accessible mental health care. 24:53 [SPEAKER_07]: If you think you could benefit from therapy, visit betterhelp.com, choose our podcast during sign up and get 10% off your first month. 25:03 [SPEAKER_07]: Taking care of your mental health is a sign of strength. 25:06 [SPEAKER_07]: Start your journey today. 25:08 [SPEAKER_05]: And what Stephanie did was, this is going to be harsh for y'all to hear, but she said, if she has a drug problem, she may have been arrested and she might be in prison. 25:36 [SPEAKER_05]: This is hard for me to even talk about I found Aaron because I saw her mug shot and I'm going to hand it back over to Aaron. 25:46 [SPEAKER_06]: I was dating a guy who is a girlfriend or a friend and I literally or it was in was on life for twice. 25:56 [SPEAKER_06]: We were just horrible for each other. 25:57 [SPEAKER_06]: The sickness from heroin withdrawal, I surprised myself that the things that I did, you would just do anything, not feel that. 26:05 [SPEAKER_06]: and anything included crime, lying jewelry that wasn't his and it's hard for me to talk about, but my disdain didn't afford me an honest living or keep a job. 26:22 [SPEAKER_07]: After leaving jail, Aaron suffered an infection in her arm, so severe that it was nearly air-putated. 26:30 [SPEAKER_07]: The infection was caused by her heroin habit. 26:33 [SPEAKER_07]: In her abuse of the pain pills, she was prescribed for. 26:36 [SPEAKER_07]: That wound up only making things worse. 26:41 [SPEAKER_06]: I really almost blocked my arm. 26:43 [SPEAKER_06]: The thing is with that type of drug near and the way of you being a better age-alizing drug that the thing is. 26:51 [SPEAKER_06]: So I was going septic very quickly, and I had to be on constant IV and a biotic. 26:58 [SPEAKER_06]: Two or three bags at a time, just constant. 27:00 [SPEAKER_06]: I've been so fortunate. 27:03 [SPEAKER_06]: But no matter what, I were unable to get myself out of the situation or to get better on my own. 27:12 [SPEAKER_06]: Being in jail for 10 months, there was a long time without using drugs. 27:18 [SPEAKER_06]: But there was no recovery. 27:19 [SPEAKER_06]: I wasn't working on myself while I was using back and forth, even after the surgery, which I did lie about because I was very ashamed. 27:29 [SPEAKER_06]: And today I've just glad that I'm alive. 27:32 [SPEAKER_06]: I was seeing my parents in the country. 27:35 [SPEAKER_06]: I wasn't able to state with a job, you know, no transportation, I know money. 27:40 [SPEAKER_06]: I remember not feeling okay. 27:41 [SPEAKER_06]: I was restless, irritable and discontent. 27:47 [SPEAKER_06]: you're just a new year sold right where everything's just awkward. 27:53 [SPEAKER_06]: It was so painful. 27:55 [SPEAKER_06]: I wanted to really buy at that point because I knew then I couldn't stop. 28:00 [SPEAKER_06]: Once I dart, I pantsed up on my own. 28:03 [SPEAKER_06]: So I was ordered to supervise the patient and I had to meet my son at the brand-end, which is a city between Pamela and Orlando. 28:16 [SPEAKER_06]: really hard on me. 28:17 [SPEAKER_06]: I knew that he wasn't very happy about being there, but I had no idea what was to come in a future for him being there. 28:26 [SPEAKER_06]: And so it was all of my actions. 28:27 [SPEAKER_06]: I lived a period and so my parents were angry and upset and hurt because they were not allowed contact with me. 28:34 [SPEAKER_06]: I apparently, I overgird several times in the U.S. CPR, but it's one time. 28:41 [SPEAKER_06]: which is kind of beginning at the end or the end that led at the beginning. 28:45 [SPEAKER_06]: The paramedics were called. 28:47 [SPEAKER_06]: And I went dead when the paramedics arrived. 28:51 [SPEAKER_06]: I was hallucinating for about 48 hours after coming out of the coma. 28:56 [SPEAKER_06]: I didn't recognize my mother. 28:57 [SPEAKER_06]: I thought she was just a nurse that was giving me tough lives. 29:01 [SPEAKER_06]: But I had no idea that it was my own mother. 29:04 [SPEAKER_06]: And this is the first time that my mother has gotten a call from the hospital and told that her daughters on life unfortunately, but this was the time that they did many brains and just you know, to see if I was going to come out of that, because my mother was told that they were not sure that I was going to be able to come out of that, this time. 29:27 [SPEAKER_06]: That didn't register or resonate. 29:30 [SPEAKER_06]: Even when I saw you to come around, my first feeling was like, I got to get out of here. 29:34 [SPEAKER_06]: I wanted to do sth, but I was not healthy. 29:38 [SPEAKER_06]: And I remembered this one conversation between the doctor and I, a doctor, and I was very frightened, look on its face. 29:45 [SPEAKER_06]: And I was like, what's the matter? 29:48 [SPEAKER_06]: Very ignorant. 29:49 [SPEAKER_06]: And you look like you saw it. 29:53 [SPEAKER_06]: And I think about that a lot today because when I asked him why he had that look in his face, he just simply said, I did not think there would ever be able to have a conversation with you. 30:06 [SPEAKER_06]: He said, we were pretty much deciding that you were not going to be able to make it off life to the work. 30:13 [SPEAKER_06]: So I was close to hearing the tube and the life of the crew shut down. 30:18 [SPEAKER_06]: So what now? 30:19 [SPEAKER_06]: They give you a free complimentary taxi when you're at the hospital, and I could detect the right back to where I overgo that, which you're on it, but totally normal for active addiction. 30:33 [SPEAKER_06]: My mother was in the process of taking me out after work, and she did find rain, and she 30:41 [SPEAKER_07]: Of course, Erin's mother wasn't the only person in her life upset with her immediate return to the life that almost killed her. 30:50 [SPEAKER_07]: Her son was devastated. 30:53 [SPEAKER_07]: When Erin's mother discovered where she was, she called the authorities and had her taken back into custody on the grounds that she was now a danger to herself. 31:11 [SPEAKER_06]: I was tired, I was sad, I was over, I had lots of hope of ever being with my friend again, and broke his heart, and it's agree the next morning I went to first to see her, and I was ordered to meet 31:39 [SPEAKER_06]: There is something different that's going to get out to you if I would have left, but I didn't cite it. 31:44 [SPEAKER_06]: You know, I was here. 31:46 [SPEAKER_06]: A staff there, this program, I have to say it is one of the best in Florida, and I got to tell you, they have, they've introduced life, brought families together, made good, responsible parents out of people that were trying to kill themselves. 32:07 [SPEAKER_06]: It's 32:10 [SPEAKER_06]: Because while I'm there, I'm scared to death. 32:14 [SPEAKER_06]: And you don't know how your life can be about together, but you just know that you're safe. 32:18 [SPEAKER_06]: English, picked to death, they gave me medicine. 32:21 [SPEAKER_06]: The thickness is what I always try to run from to you. 32:24 [SPEAKER_06]: The physical thickness withdrawing from here when it gets to very serious. 32:31 [SPEAKER_06]: I was given medication, I was given therapy. 32:37 [SPEAKER_06]: and the special nurses that took care of me and these people that touched my life and huge waves. 32:42 [SPEAKER_06]: One guy came into myself or just got a little farther away from that disaster, I realized, you know what? 32:53 [SPEAKER_06]: I still alive. 32:54 [SPEAKER_06]: You've got to be a reason. 32:56 [SPEAKER_06]: I'm not going to waste it. 32:58 [SPEAKER_06]: So from there, I had a court hearing. 33:00 [SPEAKER_06]: I mean, a judge asked me how I was doing. 33:03 [SPEAKER_06]: different than over the phone. 33:05 [SPEAKER_06]: I didn't know that at the time that my mother was there in the court with the judge. 33:11 [SPEAKER_06]: They would have released me actually. 33:13 [SPEAKER_06]: They can release you to Intense of Outpatient and that's an option. 33:16 [SPEAKER_06]: I think God took over because the judge said, first one or what do you want to do? 33:22 [SPEAKER_06]: What came out of me was, your honor, I need to be court-ordered to the empty share 33:32 [SPEAKER_06]: what I knew and my heart needed to happen. 33:36 [SPEAKER_06]: I just feel like I constantly said that about what happened. 33:39 [SPEAKER_06]: Now, when you're a quarter inch or we have, if you do not successfully compute, go to jail, you will set for six months, and then you'll go to another program. 33:50 [SPEAKER_06]: It's time to get matters to do more. 33:53 [SPEAKER_06]: It's so well designed that even the music they play is very positive and it's very assuring. 34:03 [SPEAKER_06]: When you think about it, your thoughts are very powerful. 34:07 [SPEAKER_06]: My thoughts are powerful. 34:08 [SPEAKER_06]: And if I'm always thinking, I can't do this. 34:11 [SPEAKER_06]: I'll never get better. 34:12 [SPEAKER_06]: I can't live without drugs. 34:15 [SPEAKER_06]: I would never be okay. 34:17 [SPEAKER_06]: If you're always saying that, how are you gonna get through? 34:20 [SPEAKER_06]: How are you ever gonna change? 34:23 [SPEAKER_06]: So they are constantly redirecting you and you're thinking and teaching you. 34:28 [SPEAKER_06]: And they also incorporate, 34:32 [SPEAKER_06]: leading from outside that are not that happened at the detox, the U.S. and leading with the people from indescent people from outside are allowed to come and the people that are just in the detox. 34:46 [SPEAKER_06]: So, everything is divine for success and I really wish it was given more appreciation. 35:01 [SPEAKER_06]: anything about myself and the first time I went there. 35:04 [SPEAKER_06]: I couldn't tell you briefly things, not me. 35:07 [SPEAKER_06]: My legs are just like, but they taught me how to be a woman in recovery, feel from there, and what they're contained. 35:15 [SPEAKER_07]: One of those changes was just learning to follow the rules, even ones that seemed petty or hard to understand. 35:23 [SPEAKER_07]: In order to learn that the decisions we make have consequences, 35:30 [SPEAKER_06]: You can't share clothes, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you can't be rich, you 35:56 [SPEAKER_06]: And every way, then, if I'm doing the same thing like I think different revolts happens during it. 36:03 [SPEAKER_06]: So I did go through a lot of learning experience to give no privilege, no phone privileges, no nothing. 36:11 [SPEAKER_06]: So I reviewed it on Monday for the week. 36:14 [SPEAKER_06]: So I was on that for a week. 36:18 [SPEAKER_06]: And then something inside leaders started 36:24 [SPEAKER_06]: and just grab recovery. 36:25 [SPEAKER_06]: I was reading, positive materials, I was reading literature of NNN and I was listening and reading, I was reading phone numbers of women so that when I couldn't use the phone, I started to make the phone call. 36:43 [SPEAKER_06]: The phone calls were very hard to make it first, but it's like you call and you're no idea what to talk about. 36:54 [SPEAKER_06]: And more at ESI started a field hope. 36:58 [SPEAKER_06]: I started a field. 36:59 [SPEAKER_06]: So when I stopped fighting against myself and started to do different things, try to do it. 37:06 [SPEAKER_06]: I noticed that when I started to be when it's a hope for again. 37:09 [SPEAKER_06]: This time, I didn't really think it was going to happen. 37:12 [SPEAKER_06]: I didn't think I was never going to come back from that. 37:14 [SPEAKER_06]: So yeah, I didn't say there. 37:16 [SPEAKER_06]: Then my recommendation after that were the halfway copy of dropping 37:25 [SPEAKER_06]: If house, I'd left it for a second time being there. 37:30 [SPEAKER_06]: It is a facility for a different building, and they all have a kitchen and bathroom shower. 37:36 [SPEAKER_06]: The first one is the Met Office and the administration office. 37:38 [SPEAKER_06]: The second one is the little house, but you base up to your land, then the big house. 37:43 [SPEAKER_06]: And basically, you share living quarters. 37:46 [SPEAKER_06]: It's about 10 living. 37:49 [SPEAKER_06]: Adventure when you would go to get a job or to community work, or 37:53 [SPEAKER_06]: speak to further education, but this is where we're at you ready for the outside world. 37:59 [SPEAKER_06]: There are roles, there's towards in the morning, there's groups, there were so many groups that I do have a great understanding of the disease, the education, great hope for that. 38:10 [SPEAKER_06]: The people are a main role in the area of this world, amazing. 38:14 [SPEAKER_06]: Everyone can talk a little bit about 38:19 [SPEAKER_06]: what your life is right now, and I especially want you to address why you're doing this podcast. 38:25 [SPEAKER_06]: Why bother? 38:26 [SPEAKER_06]: I'm just wondering when you're dealing with drug addiction. 38:30 [SPEAKER_06]: Many people are willing to deal with dying for a gun at a 15 or 20 of my underdance. 38:36 [SPEAKER_06]: It means so much to have the woman support the new Democrat and the keeper family, and I will always be a keeper. 38:44 [SPEAKER_06]: I realize that a lot of people may have a hard time understanding 38:50 [SPEAKER_06]: my story, and that's okay, it's not meant to be understood, but the one reason I'm doing this is because there is a need for hope, there is a need for hope, there is a 39:19 [SPEAKER_06]: Even though I was with people that weren't left in decent, even though they were still eating drugs. 39:28 [SPEAKER_06]: My very dear friends were going to be with people that didn't want to get in trouble. 39:35 [SPEAKER_06]: They left. 39:37 [SPEAKER_06]: I wanted to tell my story because drug addiction, I had no one dream, no one childhood dream. 39:47 [SPEAKER_06]: in my cell of growing up, and I'm grateful that I am alive. 39:50 [SPEAKER_06]: I am going to better keep the rest of my life to try and to help them when I will cheer every story to fight the back on us, I may get and our people that judge let be honest. 40:06 [SPEAKER_06]: Even though I don't like that about myself, I judge sometimes without knowing without thinking. 40:16 [SPEAKER_06]: comfortable, or family member that I was an addict, either in your family, but be at your child. 40:22 [SPEAKER_06]: It's always very scary in touch you go and find out what your options are. 40:27 [SPEAKER_06]: An addict, destiny, and after addiction, it's one of the three you are either in an institution deal or death. 40:36 [SPEAKER_06]: I got a certificate and that's a part of it. 40:40 [SPEAKER_06]: All these doors began to open and that is the biggest 40:45 [SPEAKER_06]: point, I want to make if anyone is listening, if you don't have any hope or if you've lost a lot of hope for some of it you have. 40:58 [SPEAKER_06]: Never give up, never stop praying and never stop hoping. 41:02 [SPEAKER_06]: Once you step into your trying, once you give up the fight against yourself and you put down your weapons, they say surrender to when's got to live. 41:14 [SPEAKER_06]: I think it's easy to call into your creativity. 41:18 [SPEAKER_06]: Thank you for those of you that were wanting to guide you initially, guys, but just the next few months, and then could you help the next few months? 41:32 [SPEAKER_07]: Come later, Ben. 41:36 [SPEAKER_07]: Through Sister Kathy's series podcast listeners here a lot about abuse and that is one thing that it's hard for people who have been through abuse to talk about publicly and it's also hard for people to hear it. 41:52 [SPEAKER_07]: And that's one thing that I know I, and I'm sure Jim, I can speak to this as well. 41:56 [SPEAKER_07]: We hear a lot of people who are survivors of abuse, talk about how it's so nice to hear people talking about it publicly, because it makes it feel like what they're experiencing isn't just them. 42:10 [SPEAKER_07]: And with Erin specifically, she went through abuse as a child by her own quote and drug problems is another area where it's hard for people to talk about and a lot of people judged those problems. 42:23 [SPEAKER_07]: And for Erin, she can say that her drug problem is a result. 42:28 [SPEAKER_07]: It started because of her abuse. 42:30 [SPEAKER_07]: I don't think it's a coincidence that her abuse ended around the same time her drug problem became. 42:36 [SPEAKER_07]: Jimma. 42:37 [SPEAKER_07]: One thing that Erin mentioned while we were recording is that she died. 42:44 [SPEAKER_07]: She was brought back, but that's not always the case for people who have a drug problem. 42:50 [SPEAKER_07]: In our listeners will know our episodes that we've done about Kelly the Box Lady. 42:55 [SPEAKER_07]: So I'm going to let you take this over, Gemma, and tell us about the update behind Kelly the Box Lady. 43:05 [SPEAKER_06]: First of all, I want to say to you that Erin here for a reason, I think you all know that and she is open to your question and comment and we also both Jane and I have access to a lot of resources if you need help either that you've been abused or that you're having issues we can send you in the right direction. 43:34 [SPEAKER_06]: Some of you remember about two years ago now that a woman named Kelly who lived in Florida in the same city where Aaron lived, but she doesn't know Aaron and Aaron didn't know her. 43:46 [SPEAKER_06]: She scanned the name. 43:49 [SPEAKER_06]: She told me she had a box of things that belonged to Mr. Cassie that had been given to her by a woman to take care of. 43:57 [SPEAKER_06]: And I believe that we had the whole world looking for Kelly. 44:01 [SPEAKER_06]: And her friends had a lot of them work on the keepers. 44:05 [SPEAKER_06]: And if you stay tuned, I'm writing a book about this. 44:07 [SPEAKER_06]: So you'll get the whole story again. 44:09 [SPEAKER_06]: They were angry because another woman who was concerned about Kelly asked social services to do a welfare check. 44:21 [SPEAKER_06]: And when that happened, Kelly got angry and decided to use the woman's phone, so her phone, and did their homework about the keepers, 44:32 [SPEAKER_06]: I just, if one man would tell me, I know the confused thing, but if you help those, you'll get it. 44:39 [SPEAKER_06]: Anyway, tell me how the different problems and one point, one of the women who were scamming me with Kelly. 44:48 [SPEAKER_06]: actually made it an anonymous phone call to me. 44:51 [SPEAKER_06]: I wasn't able to see where the number came from and explained to me that they were just trying to get back at our friend Stephanie. 44:59 [SPEAKER_06]: You do a week old Stephanie to find lady because Stephanie is the one that sent somebody to do a well fair chat. 45:05 [SPEAKER_06]: Well, a couple months ago, I had space with Stephanie and after if she knew anything 45:17 [SPEAKER_06]: and was in the vegetative state in the hospital. 45:21 [SPEAKER_06]: And I was very tired but not surprised. 45:25 [SPEAKER_06]: So I got in touch with a guy. 45:29 [SPEAKER_06]: I think he was Kelly's first sergeant. 45:32 [SPEAKER_06]: And when I asked him what was going on, it didn't let anything said that she had passed away. 45:37 [SPEAKER_06]: So please take Erin's heartfelt comments 45:47 [SPEAKER_06]: or drug addiction, and Aaron ended up as a heroin addict. 45:54 [SPEAKER_05]: And I will never leave her. 45:56 [SPEAKER_05]: She's my friend. 45:57 [SPEAKER_05]: We've never even met. 45:59 [SPEAKER_05]: Alan, I just feel like she's my sister. 46:02 [SPEAKER_06]: And you don't leave. 46:03 [SPEAKER_06]: We don't leave family. 46:06 [SPEAKER_06]: So I'm very tired. 46:08 [SPEAKER_06]: I tell you. 46:09 [SPEAKER_06]: herself and that situation that was not able to get the help she needed. 46:14 [SPEAKER_05]: And that it went down to open there and that she died. 46:20 [SPEAKER_05]: But that's not on your role. 46:23 [SPEAKER_05]: And I just hope that everybody's worth something that's making some resolution that if they have somebody in their life that's struggling with addiction or a beer or you are yourself. 46:37 [SPEAKER_06]: I know some of you are listening 46:39 [SPEAKER_06]: Please talk to somebody. 46:40 [SPEAKER_06]: There's help out there for you. 46:43 [SPEAKER_06]: And that's why we're here. 46:45 [SPEAKER_06]: We're here to take care of each other. 46:47 [SPEAKER_05]: Thank you, Shane. 47:42 [SPEAKER_03]: Wheat Watchers now offers access to 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