0:00 [SPEAKER_01]: Looking for a game that's fun, relaxing, and gives classic solitaire a fresh twist, solitaire clash, spelled CLASH, brings skill, speed, and strategy together in a way that makes every round feel rewarding. 0:13 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not just solitaire as you know it, it's solitaire elevated, with competitive modes and even the chance to win real cash. 0:19 [SPEAKER_01]: In the middle of a busy day, it's more important than ever to carve out a moment for yourself, whether it's during a commute, while waiting for a ride or taking a quick pause to breathe. 0:28 [SPEAKER_01]: Solitaire Clash offers a simple satisfying escape. 0:32 [SPEAKER_01]: A couple fast rounds can calm your mind to challenge your focus and give you that little boost you didn't realize you needed. 0:38 [SPEAKER_01]: It's perfect for those in-between moments. 0:40 [SPEAKER_01]: Familiar enough to jump right in, but dynamic enough to keep things interesting. 0:45 [SPEAKER_01]: Each match is quick. 0:46 [SPEAKER_01]: Kill Driven, and packed with that just one more game feeling. 0:50 [SPEAKER_01]: So, if it's been a while, take a moment to open Solitaire Clash. 0:54 [SPEAKER_01]: CL-ASH, play a few rounds, unwind, and enjoy the fun. 0:58 [SPEAKER_01]: And maybe even win a little while you're at it. 1:09 [UNKNOWN]: Thank you for watching. 1:31 [SPEAKER_02]: Happy New Year from me and Shane. 1:33 [SPEAKER_02]: Tonight, we have a really special gas. 1:36 [SPEAKER_02]: Their topics going to be a little bit different. 1:39 [SPEAKER_02]: Tonight, we have Kate McDowell, who actually is a listener to the podcast and was making some awesome comments when we were discussing the different issues that surround the abuse. 1:53 [SPEAKER_02]: that happened in the archdiocese. 1:56 [SPEAKER_02]: So I engage Kate and Esther if she would be our guest. 2:00 [SPEAKER_02]: Our big topic tonight is going to be about how families can talk among themselves about the issue of pedophilia and because Shane and I are not experts in that field, we thought Kate would be a good person that we could use as a resource. 2:16 [SPEAKER_02]: So what we'd like to do first is ask Kate to tell us a little bit about herself, pay to if you could tell us what your background is, maybe some of the experiences you've had in counseling, and especially you're in the field of working with families and children. 2:34 [SPEAKER_02]: So welcome, thank you. 2:35 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm excited to be able to talk on this subject. 2:38 [SPEAKER_03]: I have a Bachelor of Science in Applied Psychology 2:45 [SPEAKER_03]: I have a master's degree in social work and a licensed independent clinical social worker. 2:51 [SPEAKER_03]: I have been in the social service field for about 26 years now. 2:56 [SPEAKER_03]: In the last 10, I have been doing a trauma specific therapy with children and families as well as adults. 3:04 [SPEAKER_03]: experiences that I've had specific experience in being a victim of child sexual abuse by the archdiocese in Minnesota as well as in working with victims. 3:16 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, of course, throughout the podcast series on Sister Kathy, the word pedophilia comes up abuse. 3:23 [SPEAKER_00]: Can you walk us through what pedophilia is and what are some good ways that parents and families can approach this subject? 3:31 [SPEAKER_03]: Pedophilia is actually a mental health disorder, a specific diagnosable disorder, and I can go over the basics of it in terms of how we would diagnose and retire for diagnosing that. 3:43 [SPEAKER_03]: Because there's a lot of conversation about pedophilia, especially when we're referencing the things that happen in the Catholic Church, I think sometimes there's things that get kind of confused. 3:55 [SPEAKER_03]: With pedophilic disorder, that's diagnosable. 3:57 [SPEAKER_03]: You're looking at people who have over a six-month period at least a recurrent and tense sexual arousing fantasies. 4:04 [SPEAKER_03]: that involve sexual activity with prepubescent children or children, generally aware on the age of puberty. 4:10 [SPEAKER_03]: People don't necessarily have to act on these urges to have that diagnosis, and I think that can be a misperception a lot. 4:18 [SPEAKER_03]: Because there are people out there that have this diagnosis that have never acted on it, but because the urges 4:26 [SPEAKER_03]: and fantasies can cause such mark to stress they can get that diagnosis. 4:31 [SPEAKER_03]: The individual has to be at least 16 years of age to get that diagnosis, they can't be younger than that. 4:37 [SPEAKER_03]: They have to be at least five years older than the child for children that they've had as a victim. 4:44 [SPEAKER_03]: When you're looking at it in the sense of trying to teach children about what that looks like, I talk about this a lot in my work and with colleagues in general. 4:54 [SPEAKER_03]: When you're looking at the generational kind of differences of what we were taught in my generation, everyone talked about that stringer, that dark alley person, that lurked and you got to be aware of 5:06 [SPEAKER_03]: that stranger in reality, most victims know their perpetrator. 5:12 [SPEAKER_03]: And so when you're talking about trying to teach children about being safe from a pedophile, there's a pedophile that's going to potentially act on it that is causing that there are people who aren't necessarily pedophiles but opportunists that 5:26 [SPEAKER_03]: have sexual urges and children are easy prey. 5:30 [SPEAKER_03]: And so what we need to do to teach our children most importantly really that I always say to as a number one thing is we need to teach children that they're worth something. 5:41 [SPEAKER_03]: You know, there are many generations that children are best seen and not heard and there's this different value that's placed on children in different societies and different families different cultures that you're lesser than so when children learn that and it's not that we're teaching them you know that to be malicious or to make them lesser than I heard many times growing up. 6:07 [SPEAKER_03]: I'll always believe in adult over you. 6:09 [SPEAKER_03]: So when you hear something like that, or when a child comes to you or has done something wrong, and you belittle them, and you make them feel horrible for their actions, and you're kind of eating them up for engaging a behavior that's really developmentally appropriate, they feel lesser than, they have that shame, they have that thing where it's like, but in that conversation again, 6:31 [SPEAKER_03]: With my parent was my loved one with the person that's supposed to be safe because they don't think I'm good enough Really the biggest thing that I feel that we can teach kids is that no matter what you do no matter what you think no matter what you've heard You are safe telling me I won't Low my top. 6:49 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not going to make you feel bad. 6:51 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, we can share with them I like it mad because I just am frustrated, but only your own feelings don't put them up 6:58 [SPEAKER_03]: put that on a child and say that I'm always safe no matter what you can come tell me I read a thing on social media the other day about a woman who said they had an event half an over the Christmas break and her daughters were playing upstairs and the one daughter was playing really rough and ran into one of the drywall things that they had just put up and put a hole in it and 7:26 [SPEAKER_03]: and was afraid to go talk to her dad and wasn't sure what to do and the mom was saying basically saying yep it was an accident when we'll figure it out and then when talk to her husband then said we have two ways we can handle this we can have her come to us and we can be calm and we can say accidents happen we can talk through it or we can overreact and make her never want to talk to us again. 7:51 [SPEAKER_03]: And that's what we need to think about when we're talking to children about things as an adult that seem simple to us, but they're not that's the child's learning. 8:00 [SPEAKER_03]: And so we have to say to no matter what you're safe, we have to spend time with children. 8:05 [SPEAKER_03]: We have to be the people that fall prey to predators. 8:10 [SPEAKER_03]: Our loaners, the kids that are out there seeking attachment to subtle one, if we can't provide that time and attention to the children we need to hook them up with resources that can provide that time and attention like big brothers big sisters mentor programs. 8:25 [SPEAKER_03]: a relative, a trusted neighbor, those people, help and say, hey, how you're doing, what's going on in your life? 8:32 [SPEAKER_03]: And we need to teach them about their body. 8:35 [SPEAKER_03]: I know when I started having my children, they're finally a big push to teach kids the real names of their body parts. 8:42 [SPEAKER_03]: Because there were such a time where people would use slang for different body parts and it was cutesy and kids don't developmentally understand that difference. 8:52 [SPEAKER_03]: So we as parents have to say to them, these are your private parts. 8:56 [SPEAKER_03]: These are the names of them. 8:58 [SPEAKER_00]: life can get overwhelming and talking to someone can make all the difference. 9:04 [SPEAKER_00]: Better help, the sponsor of this episode, make starting therapy simple. 9:10 [SPEAKER_00]: Complete a short questionnaire and you'll be matched with a licensed therapist and as little as a couple of days. 9:17 [SPEAKER_00]: You can connect by message, phone or video, from wherever you feel comfortable. 9:23 [SPEAKER_00]: And if the first therapist isn't the right fit, 9:29 [SPEAKER_00]: Better help include a journal for personal reflection and daily group sessions on a variety of topics and they accept each essay and FSA cards. 9:39 [SPEAKER_00]: with over 2,000,000 users, and a 4. star rating on trust pilot. 9:44 [SPEAKER_00]: Better help is a trusted platform for accessible mental health care. 9:49 [SPEAKER_00]: If you think you could benefit from therapy, visit betterhelp.com, choose our podcast during sign-up, and get 10% off your first month. 9:58 [SPEAKER_00]: Taking care of your mental health is a sign of strength. 10:02 [SPEAKER_00]: Start your journey today. 10:04 [SPEAKER_03]: This is specific to you. 10:08 [SPEAKER_03]: And it's okay to say no to someone touching them. 10:12 [SPEAKER_03]: When we're bringing our kids to the doctor and we're saying we're prepping them, saying this person may need to look at this. 10:19 [SPEAKER_03]: The doctor needs to be able to ask permission and tell the child this is what I want to do is not okay. 10:25 [SPEAKER_03]: We have a lot of parents that are better now at setting boundaries for their kids. 10:29 [SPEAKER_03]: And so when kids, the simple piece of, when I was a kid, we were always, we always had to hug and kiss our relatives. 10:36 [SPEAKER_03]: And I was never terribly comfortable with that. 10:37 [SPEAKER_03]: It used to hide and run and try, but it was always forced to do that. 10:41 [SPEAKER_03]: That's teaching that kids don't have the right to their own boundaries when they're forced to do that. 10:46 [SPEAKER_03]: So if your kid is saying, and or showing me, I don't want to do it. 10:51 [SPEAKER_03]: Don't make them do that and talk to the people that they're saying no to and to say it. 10:55 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm going. 10:55 [SPEAKER_03]: I am teaching my child to respect our boundaries. 10:58 [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm not going to force them to do that adults can get pretty snarky about that and say that it's disrespectful that kids don't do it. 11:07 [SPEAKER_03]: But we are the advocates for kids and we can say, no, this is what I'm teaching. 11:11 [SPEAKER_03]: This is important for us to teach an honor that this is a boundary they're setting. 11:16 [SPEAKER_03]: and they get to set that because it's their body. 11:19 [SPEAKER_02]: Before I move on, I wanted to just ask you quickly about something that you said, how young is too young to be bringing up the subject of saying no to people that might want to invade or child space, because was so much awareness now. 11:37 [SPEAKER_02]: of what's going on in the Catholic church. 11:40 [SPEAKER_02]: And for everybody that's listening to this podcast, I'm sure they've been thinking, okay, when do I talk to my teenagers about this, when do I talk to my toddlers about this, is there like. 11:53 [SPEAKER_02]: a guideline and is a something that you do at the dinner table or is just like a one-on-one conversation. 12:00 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't have kids. 12:02 [SPEAKER_02]: So I don't have to deal with it right now. 12:03 [SPEAKER_02]: But a lot of people, I know, are thinking about what can I do to make sure my kids are safe. 12:09 [SPEAKER_02]: And when do I have this conversation with them that unfortunately we now have to have? 12:14 [SPEAKER_03]: And I think that is probably one of the biggest fears because I think we're afraid of scaring our kids by having the conversation. 12:20 [SPEAKER_03]: The first step is as kids are growing and learning. 12:23 [SPEAKER_03]: As soon as they're starting to have the verbal skills and their kids have this natural curiosity, I know that you were a teacher for many years, you know, oh kids just as they develop start to get curious in different ways. 12:39 [SPEAKER_03]: And so when they start to show that curiosity, the level, and they're asking, what's this, what's that? 12:44 [SPEAKER_03]: That's the time to start teaching them. 12:46 [SPEAKER_03]: If they're pointing to that, wondering what that is, give them the real name of it. 12:50 [SPEAKER_03]: If they're pointing to a body part, and at that time, if it's your child and you're familiar with your child, then you generally have a sense of, you know, where their language skills are and their comprehension skills. 13:03 [SPEAKER_03]: So, 13:03 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, we always used to talk about what they should call a penis like a year or something. 13:08 [SPEAKER_03]: It no, tell them what that is and what it's for. 13:11 [SPEAKER_03]: And you don't have to give over information. 13:14 [SPEAKER_03]: When someone is asking a question, a child adult, anyone give them the information that they're seeking. 13:20 [SPEAKER_03]: So if they say, what is that, tell them what it is. 13:24 [SPEAKER_03]: If they ask for their questions, and you have the answer, and it's an answer, you feel comfortable, 13:32 [SPEAKER_03]: That's just backfinding for a child. 13:34 [SPEAKER_03]: So answer in basic language what that is. 13:38 [SPEAKER_03]: If you feel like they're going down a road that you don't feel comfortable with, that's when you seek out either the help of a professional, or there are a lot of really good books out there, that those links I had shared on the Facebook site, 13:54 [SPEAKER_03]: about having that conversation with kids because I get it, it's not an easy conversation most of us grew up in situations that people certainly did not sit down and have a definitive conversation with us about protecting our bodies and what that look like and using real term. 14:13 [SPEAKER_03]: Be okay with your own comfortableness, but don't use that as an excuse not to have the conversation. 14:19 [SPEAKER_03]: There are way too many resources out there. 14:22 [SPEAKER_03]: Now to not have the conversation. 14:25 [SPEAKER_03]: They are written up there spelled out specifically, work through your uncomfortable list because if your child sees you uncomfortable and ignoring and avoiding the question, that sets them up for more vulnerability because it becomes a, oh, I shouldn't talk about that. 14:42 [SPEAKER_03]: My mom's uncomfortable, that adults uncomfortable. 14:45 [SPEAKER_03]: And again, it just sets a child's confusion for if you got a predator that's saying to them, this is a secret because mom, a dad don't want to hear about that. 14:55 [SPEAKER_03]: And you're basically a proven to them. 14:56 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't want to talk about it. 14:58 [SPEAKER_03]: That's where those pieces start to connect for kids that are, you know, I'd buy it. 15:02 [SPEAKER_02]: And we'll make sure that when we publish your episode, 15:06 [SPEAKER_02]: that we will post the names of the resources that you suggest that might be things that, you know, families can take a look at and learn more from. 15:16 [SPEAKER_02]: My next question is actually a linguistics one, but it's come up many times on our podcast page. 15:25 [SPEAKER_03]: What is the difference between pedophilia and 15:35 [SPEAKER_03]: that is specific to a sexual acts with children, and that can be either male or female. 15:41 [SPEAKER_03]: Petarasti is an evening tractist of sexual relationship between an adult male and a boy. 15:50 [SPEAKER_03]: And in a lot of literature, pedophilia and pedarasti are used synonymously. 15:55 [SPEAKER_03]: And when they can be, I guess if you're looking at some of the basics of 16:01 [SPEAKER_03]: The sexual relationship between an adult and a child absolutely those are those pizzas, but generally speaking for pederasty because it was kind of defined as a cultural norm and certain civilizations and sanctioned and encouraged there's kind of some sociological discussions about. 16:23 [SPEAKER_03]: whether or not people were actually attracted to the children or they just engaged in this kind of social norm. 16:30 [SPEAKER_03]: Pedophilia is specific to having these really intense sexual fantasies and urges and behaviors involving that sexual activity. 16:40 [SPEAKER_02]: Is there a name for abuse of teens and then a different name for abuse of 16:49 [SPEAKER_00]: The diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, known as DSM, requires that criteria for pedophilia, specifies sexual interest in prepubescent children around age 13 or younger. 17:05 [SPEAKER_00]: The DSM does not diagnose have a failure, the sexual interest in prepubescent children. 17:11 [SPEAKER_00]: or aphobilia, the sexual interest in later adolescence, directly. 17:17 [SPEAKER_00]: Instead, it goes under the diagnosis of other specified paraphilic disorder. 17:23 [SPEAKER_00]: A paraphilic disorder is defined by the DSM, as recurrent intents sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors. 17:32 [SPEAKER_00]: that are distressing or disabling, that involve inanimate objects, children, or non-consenting adult, or suffering, or humiliation, of oneself, or the partner, with the potential to cause harm. 17:49 [SPEAKER_00]: Kate, with using that term, had a nasty, how long ago was that considered a social norm and did it involve was it sexual in nature, or just being seen with a boy like 17:59 [SPEAKER_03]: and sociological standpoint, that went back to ancient Greece, and it was brought into the Roman Empire. 18:06 [SPEAKER_03]: It could have been a variety of different things. 18:09 [SPEAKER_03]: There's debate about whether it was just relationships of more of a educator mentor to an adolescent boy to also having relationships that were sexual in nature. 18:19 [SPEAKER_03]: I think it went the gamut from what I understand. 18:23 [SPEAKER_03]: And when the Roman Empire kind of, 18:25 [SPEAKER_03]: got a hold of it. 18:26 [SPEAKER_03]: It became increasingly, there's this approval for it, interestingly enough, the influence of the Catholic Church kind of criminalized it, but we know where that went. 18:34 [SPEAKER_00]: The next question we have, what are some signs that parents or friends and uncles could see within children together in an idea that they could be getting abused? 18:49 [SPEAKER_03]: One of the biggest signs that at least I probably see more often. 18:53 [SPEAKER_03]: The not is hyper arousal emotional state where things that before would have been seemingly small become rather large rather fits of you're like what were you think you're like I'm not sure whether this reaction is happening this is a much larger reaction than ever is needed for whatever just happened and then that can go to gamut to your kid completely shuts down they disengage from everything. 19:20 [SPEAKER_03]: symptoms of usually when I hear of a child that's suddenly what in the bed or having bowel issues. 19:27 [SPEAKER_03]: But the first thing, unfortunately, a lot of clinical people go to where go or what's happening. 19:31 [SPEAKER_03]: That's a, unfortunately, really common one that we see. 19:35 [SPEAKER_03]: Do they step in and out with their friends? 19:38 [SPEAKER_03]: Do they get into more fights? 19:39 [SPEAKER_03]: And are they not sleeping? 19:41 [SPEAKER_03]: Are they having more nightmare? 19:43 [SPEAKER_03]: starting to fill classes at school, avoiding certain people, having more somatic complaints, always complaining of stomach aches, headaches, don't feel well in general, and nothing can really be figured out. 19:56 [SPEAKER_03]: A big one that we've seen rise and over the last couple decades, 20:03 [SPEAKER_03]: is self-injurious behavior, of it ain't burning, erasing the skin, run away. 20:09 [SPEAKER_03]: And the lot goes with gut. 20:11 [SPEAKER_03]: People know their kids, and they might, I just was talking to someone today. 20:14 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm on call for my second job, and it's a crisis, global crisis team. 20:19 [SPEAKER_03]: We had a situation in the minds of every teenagers depressed at some level. 20:25 [SPEAKER_03]: And so I just thought it was that never assumed it's not it is not normal depression, does it happen a lot is it yes to we get situation situation, but we should never just say that's normal we should always be checking out those little deviations and behavior no matter how small or are they eating less are they eating more changes in your normal kind of the area functioning with your child, are they suddenly wanting to sleep with you more. 20:54 [SPEAKER_03]: Are they afraid when you leave the house and you kind of a lot of kids normally go through that kind of detachment fear when as they're growing when their parents leave and they're left with a babysitter and it's scary, but are they reverting back to old kind of infantile behavior. 21:10 [SPEAKER_00]: What kind of resources are there for those people who feel like they are seeing those signs and either their children or their friends that they could possibly provide. 21:20 [SPEAKER_03]: There's always, I know in the state of Minnesota, we have mobile prices, teams in every county. 21:26 [SPEAKER_03]: And so I always encourage people to contact our local county, social services offices, public health offices for information, rain.org online is a great resource for all things in that area, and they can direct you to areas that are, that it can be local to you as well. 21:44 [SPEAKER_03]: A school counselor, school social worker, 21:46 [SPEAKER_03]: a teacher, even, I know teachers are overloaded, but they can direct to the resources that they have within their school. 21:53 [SPEAKER_03]: If you don't know what resources you have in your school, if you do have a good relationship with a member of the clergy, you can use that too. 22:03 [SPEAKER_03]: I sadly almost hate saying that because there's just so many, that's a trigger for so many people. 22:08 [SPEAKER_03]: There, every social service agency in the United States 22:16 [SPEAKER_03]: If it's a crisis, the text crisis lines can direct to that too in their national pursuerside hotline as well. 22:24 [SPEAKER_03]: You don't have to be suicidal to access those hotlines. 22:28 [SPEAKER_03]: They aren't there just for that person that literally standing on the edge, they're there to help people not get to the edge. 22:36 [SPEAKER_02]: Again, before moving on to the next question, you've given us so much information. 22:40 [SPEAKER_02]: I keep thinking of other things, but do you recommend that, 22:44 [SPEAKER_02]: parents suspect that very young children are being sexually abused that they involve their pediatrician to confirm that or do they go directly to the police. 22:57 [SPEAKER_03]: Here's how I would look at it and the information. 22:59 [SPEAKER_03]: If someone came to me with that, if they thought there was an immediate danger that this person was going to be in the picture, I would go to the police first. 23:10 [SPEAKER_03]: Or you thought that this person wasn't me that danger to someone else. 23:13 [SPEAKER_03]: You can go to the police, almost simultaneously with going to the pediatric version. 23:18 [SPEAKER_03]: The police will direct you for that. 23:19 [SPEAKER_03]: And in most, and I would imagine some rural counties they're not going to have access to a forensic interviewer. 23:26 [SPEAKER_03]: But if you go to the police station, they also do have people that are trained or have access to people that are trained to forensically interview children. 23:34 [SPEAKER_03]: to get more information. 23:36 [SPEAKER_03]: And a lot of clinics also have resources for that, as well, can direct you to a specific sexual assault centers for children to work through those next steps. 23:49 [SPEAKER_02]: Because we want to try and prevent this from happening, everything that had to do with the keepers and what we're doing now in terms of providing resources for survivors of abuse, if we can prevent this from happening, what kinds of actions could we or should we be taking both from the perspective of 24:13 [SPEAKER_02]: But the perpetrators are to the things that you've been talking about in terms of talking to children and using resources to help with kids what else can we do to prevent this from happening in the first place, what you should be feeling about that I'm going to give my first answer is going to be a global answer of. 24:35 [SPEAKER_03]: we need to talk about it. 24:38 [SPEAKER_03]: We need to talk about the elephant in the room. 24:40 [SPEAKER_03]: People need to talk about their historical trauma that they've had in their families. 24:45 [SPEAKER_03]: They secrets that they have in their families talk about the secrets because what happens when you're dealing with generational, and we have a lot of people that have had generational abuse that has been 24:58 [SPEAKER_03]: passed down. 24:59 [SPEAKER_03]: And then nobody talks about it. 25:01 [SPEAKER_03]: And so nobody prepares the next generation to be safe. 25:05 [SPEAKER_03]: And so we need to talk about it. 25:08 [SPEAKER_03]: We need to put it out in the open, we need to cast some light down the pool that people fall into when they are abused. 25:17 [SPEAKER_03]: And we need to take back our power. 25:20 [SPEAKER_03]: You need to, in this day and age, there is a benefit, and there is obviously 25:27 [SPEAKER_03]: But the benefit is that you can get word out fast about potential predators. 25:34 [SPEAKER_03]: And go to the media if you have to, if people aren't listening, we have outlets to make people listen. 25:41 [SPEAKER_03]: Much like you are doing for, 25:45 [SPEAKER_03]: that is that use every outlet, we have to be our children's advocates. 25:51 [SPEAKER_03]: We have to stop this. 25:54 [SPEAKER_03]: We can stop this, but we can't do it if we don't talk about it. 25:59 [SPEAKER_03]: It isn't a subject anyone wants to talk about. 26:02 [SPEAKER_03]: We shouldn't have to talk about it because it shouldn't exist, but it does. 26:07 [SPEAKER_03]: So the more we shine the light on it, the less shadow there will be, 26:12 [SPEAKER_03]: And the more we will walk future without having it have to be a conversation because we will eradicate. 26:19 [SPEAKER_02]: Can you explain what the sex offenders registry is and how people in different parts of the country can access that? 26:29 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and also it's important to note that you can access all of the local police departments like in your area and it will show leveled sex offenders that have to report there obviously a level three offenders you can know them by name and you can know exactly where they live there are other level sex offenders that information isn't public other than they're in the community, but you can access that online they have those registries online. 26:53 [SPEAKER_03]: When there is a level 3 of them moving in two areas, there are community gatherings to talk about that and have an awareness about it. 27:02 [SPEAKER_03]: I do think it's important though for people to know that many times there are people that go that really should be leveled at a level 3, but are able to have their charges knock down. 27:14 [SPEAKER_03]: So they have the behaviors. 27:18 [SPEAKER_03]: of a level three sexual prodded or a but because of the way the justice systems work can be have a lesser charge in the end. 27:27 [SPEAKER_03]: So it's that it's always the awareness and never assume that a level one is less dangerous than a level three or never assume someone who happened to be acquitted of the charge due to misrepresentation or something like that 27:46 [SPEAKER_03]: Level three sex offenders are watched regularly. 27:49 [SPEAKER_03]: They have a lot of different things. 27:51 [SPEAKER_03]: And yes, they can reoffend, but people can recover in treatment. 27:58 [SPEAKER_03]: They can, and I know that's a tough subject for people. 28:01 [SPEAKER_03]: risks can be mitigated. 28:03 [SPEAKER_03]: Like I said before, there are people that have been diagnosed with pedophilia that have never acted on that urge because they mitigate their risks. 28:11 [SPEAKER_03]: They're aware of it. 28:12 [SPEAKER_03]: They're honest about it. 28:13 [SPEAKER_03]: They set up their own risk prevention so that they don't put themselves in place that they're going to act on it. 28:23 [SPEAKER_03]: And people that go through sexual offender 28:30 [SPEAKER_03]: And so there are people that can successfully recover from that, if they continue to mitigate that risk for themselves, like with any mental health disorder, it's life long recovery. 28:42 [SPEAKER_03]: So as long as you're working your program and mitigating your risks, you can stay in recovery. 28:49 [SPEAKER_00]: To touch on that a little bit, do you believe that how to feel your end abusers can be cured? 28:55 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't believe. 28:56 [SPEAKER_03]: And ever using that word of it, it is a lifelong recovery. 29:00 [SPEAKER_03]: It's understanding your diagnosis. 29:03 [SPEAKER_03]: It's understanding your condition and coming up with a plan so that you don't put yourself in a position to act on those bridges. 29:16 [SPEAKER_03]: It's a lot of work. 29:17 [SPEAKER_03]: It's exhausting. 29:18 [SPEAKER_03]: It's with any mental health disorder. 29:22 [SPEAKER_03]: people can go through remission in different times. 29:25 [SPEAKER_03]: And so when you plot out, what am I going to do if I go through a cycle again so that you're setting yourself up to make it, without getting to the point of hospitalization? 29:37 [SPEAKER_03]: And the same goals for pedophilic disorder is that I know what my risks are. 29:43 [SPEAKER_03]: If people are being honest and they're being, and they have the capacity for insight, they can say, I know if I'm going by a player on that this sets me off, or I know that watching a sports game, they identify the things that set them off, and they set a plan in place to not 30:02 [SPEAKER_03]: get triggered. 30:03 [SPEAKER_03]: And they can work that plan, but it's a lot of work you have to be at all and when people have substance abuse disorders, you can't go anywhere in this world and not have access to it really. 30:16 [SPEAKER_03]: So people mitigate the risk, where do I go? 30:18 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, it might be there so if they're what do I do, that's exactly what they have to do in this recovery. 30:23 [SPEAKER_02]: I think talking to you tonight is going to intrigue a lot of people and I have feeling they're going to have more questions. 30:33 [SPEAKER_02]: So would you be willing to come back and answer specific questions from our audience? 30:40 [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely. 30:41 [SPEAKER_02]: That'll be wonderful because I know already I'm thinking we wish we had more time. 30:47 [SPEAKER_00]: you've been list to the podcast for this long. 30:49 [SPEAKER_00]: So you've heard from all of these people about the subject. 30:54 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just would like to know, is there anything that you feel we or our listeners could benefit from knowing, maybe you're listening and you think, oh, I wish I could say this. 31:04 [SPEAKER_00]: This is now your... 31:05 [SPEAKER_03]: I think the biggest piece in this may sound rather simple, but I think what I always want to leave people with is that everything is surmountable. 31:15 [SPEAKER_03]: everything. 31:17 [SPEAKER_03]: We have the onus in this generation to use this technology that we have to get the word out like it is being done in these podcasts. 31:26 [SPEAKER_03]: And I was tracking to one of my adult children who was telling me, that's the way to go mom. 31:32 [SPEAKER_03]: Get on the podcast and talk to people. 31:34 [SPEAKER_03]: That's where people are listening. 31:35 [SPEAKER_03]: That's where young people listen. 31:38 [SPEAKER_03]: One thing that I want to leave with everyone 31:44 [SPEAKER_03]: do not be diminished by the acts that are done to you. 31:48 [SPEAKER_03]: Use it. 31:49 [SPEAKER_03]: Use it to step in soul to step up and be heard. 32:27 [UNKNOWN]: Thank you.
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