0:10 [SPEAKER_03]: How old were you when you started working from aspirin? 0:38 [SPEAKER_03]: And you mentioned that it was supposed to be a couple of times a week, but he'd call you back out on class. 0:43 [SPEAKER_03]: Do you remember how long each session would be? 0:47 [SPEAKER_01]: The problem is that once the coach started coming, I really didn't remember a lot. 0:53 [SPEAKER_01]: And I've always wanted to know what within this coach and Abby has provided some information on that, but I really don't know how long, but he could get me out of anything. 1:05 [SPEAKER_03]: Did you work for him up until the time you graduated? 1:08 [SPEAKER_01]: I did. 1:09 [SPEAKER_03]: Were you getting paid for it? 1:10 [SPEAKER_03]: I was. 1:11 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that worked out. 1:12 [SPEAKER_01]: It worked out well. 1:13 [SPEAKER_01]: I worked like that. 1:14 [SPEAKER_01]: I had three jobs and then I worked in a time during the summer all the time so I made a lot of money. 1:21 [SPEAKER_01]: But he paid you out of his own pocket or from the school. 1:25 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know where the money came from. 1:27 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure he had a budget. 1:29 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure that it was cash and I think it was cash. 1:34 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 1:37 [SPEAKER_01]: great digger. 1:38 [SPEAKER_01]: And I wouldn't think that they would be some of those records that went there. 1:43 [SPEAKER_03]: Was it just you and Moscow during those times? 1:45 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 1:46 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, whether anyone else came in, when weather I was not aware of that through drugging could be, but unlike Dean, I'm not a of that. 1:55 [SPEAKER_03]: Right. 1:55 [SPEAKER_03]: After the co-cappened that we, yeah, I definitely did that. 2:00 [SPEAKER_03]: Do you think of the documents that you wrote? 2:02 [SPEAKER_03]: Do you believe that they were a part of the boxes in the cemetery? 2:06 [SPEAKER_01]: I would think there's a strong likelihood that they are. 2:08 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that I'm not quite sure why he was creating such documentation. 2:15 [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't, to me, it doesn't really reflect well on him to be taking girls to the gynaecologist, but for some reason he was doing it, but he was a sick man. 2:26 [SPEAKER_01]: So there was some in some way that he was this was making fun to him. 2:31 [SPEAKER_03]: In those moments, when you started doing the dissertation work for him, in your mind, do you think that the fact that he did have such the education and psychology? 2:41 [SPEAKER_03]: Do you feel like that had some impact on you feeling like it? 2:45 [SPEAKER_03]: Like the work that you were doing was okay? 2:47 [SPEAKER_01]: I do. 2:48 [SPEAKER_01]: And the other thing is that I grew up in a family that my father was very simplistic in terms of the way that he looked at Catholicism. 3:00 [SPEAKER_01]: The nuns in the priest said you did it, you did it. 3:02 [SPEAKER_01]: And so there was a blind faith in the Catholic religion so that permeated that generation and that was being handed down to us. 3:13 [SPEAKER_01]: That doesn't exist anymore, but that certainly did exist in his mind side. 3:18 [SPEAKER_01]: And so they could do no wrong. 3:21 [SPEAKER_01]: That was the way we were taught. 3:23 [SPEAKER_01]: I grew up as a little girl that wanted to be a nun. 3:26 [SPEAKER_01]: You know what I mean? 3:26 [SPEAKER_01]: We all did at one point. 3:28 [SPEAKER_01]: We really put them on a pedestal on that. 3:31 [SPEAKER_01]: The way that he was able to run that move. 3:34 [SPEAKER_01]: The way that he was. 3:35 [SPEAKER_01]: He was not the principal. 3:37 [SPEAKER_01]: He was not in charge. 3:39 [SPEAKER_01]: But he was in charge. 3:41 [SPEAKER_01]: Because he browbeat every woman that was in that. 3:50 [SPEAKER_01]: that allowed them to hate people like me and do whatever they wanted with them. 3:55 [SPEAKER_01]: But also for him as a male and interacting with the females there to have that kind of help. 4:03 [SPEAKER_01]: He was just the chaplain, he was just the counselor. 4:06 [SPEAKER_01]: But in my Catholic faith, when I was in my grave, the nuns all lived in a little thunder block, how that was super tiny and the priest lived in this huge house. 4:18 [SPEAKER_01]: And he had three servants. 4:19 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's how I grew up knowing how the men and of the faith retreating and now the women of the faith retreating. 4:25 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's the way it was. 4:27 [SPEAKER_03]: Did he ever mention to you about his strong 4:31 [SPEAKER_03]: desire to know more about psychology, because it seemed like he almost had an obsession with psychology. 4:38 [SPEAKER_01]: He didn't stay that, but he certainly practiced it. 4:40 [SPEAKER_01]: Definitely I was being like the lame lie, both in the test that he gave me and the conversations that we were having. 4:49 [SPEAKER_01]: And to definitely he thought in himself a practitioner, and that he was good at it, and that's what 5:01 [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't really think that he was, I mean, he didn't really have a degree. 5:05 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think maybe I'm not quite sure what his what he had, but he really was. 5:10 [SPEAKER_01]: And Shane, quite me if I'm wrong, but you did have a degree in school counts one. 5:16 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 5:18 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's not real count. 5:20 [SPEAKER_00]: No, that's not count. 5:23 [SPEAKER_00]: And I went on what? 5:24 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm wondering, do you know if your sister was a kid when he was still there, he loved him 75? 5:32 [SPEAKER_01]: I think she was there, but she had no interaction with him. 5:35 [SPEAKER_01]: But he didn't seek her out. 5:37 [SPEAKER_01]: No, you would have been 5:40 [SPEAKER_01]: But the fall of your junior year when Sister Kathy went missing and then later went down. 5:47 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 5:47 [SPEAKER_01]: Did you ever make a connection between her mother and mascot or where was your head on all that? 5:54 [SPEAKER_01]: I was a senior. 5:54 [SPEAKER_01]: You would have been a year behind me. 5:56 [SPEAKER_01]: It didn't really know about any of you allegations. 6:01 [SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't even aware of my own abuse. 6:04 [SPEAKER_01]: But it didn't even start to dawn on me until after I left here that something 6:10 [SPEAKER_01]: really wrong had happened there. 6:11 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it didn't know. 6:14 [SPEAKER_01]: I did not have any kind of clip as to what was going on. 6:20 [SPEAKER_01]: Did you know, Kathy? 6:21 [SPEAKER_01]: No. 6:23 [SPEAKER_01]: It didn't have a, you wouldn't have had a class. 6:26 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I did not have her for any classes. 6:28 [SPEAKER_01]: And as I say, I was not aware of what was going on, even to myself. 6:33 [SPEAKER_03]: life can get overwhelming and talking to someone can make all the difference. 6:39 [SPEAKER_03]: Better help, the sponsor of this episode, make starting therapy simple. 6:44 [SPEAKER_03]: Complete a short questionnaire and you'll be matched with a 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the time. 7:47 [SPEAKER_03]: I believe she was at Loyola when Father Masco started taking post-master classes. 7:53 [SPEAKER_03]: So if I remember correctly, I'd believe he did have a master's degree and he was addressing his interest in obtaining a PhD at some point, which I don't believe he ever obtained that. 8:06 [SPEAKER_03]: The next question that I had was, what type of impact did your experience with father and master school have on your life? 8:14 [SPEAKER_01]: I just went into a talefin after that. 8:17 [SPEAKER_01]: Unlike the rest of my family that was, they had very normal lives. 8:21 [SPEAKER_01]: Everything went well for them. 8:23 [SPEAKER_01]: I was the complete opposite. 8:25 [SPEAKER_01]: Quickly, very right after high school, I moved out. 8:29 [SPEAKER_01]: I was the college in the first semester. 8:32 [SPEAKER_01]: I married early and I married a person who was on their own with another with a renegade and running away from a problem with their Catholic faith. 8:42 [SPEAKER_01]: He had been in the seminary and come out of the seminary and his family was very disappointed with him. 8:49 [SPEAKER_01]: So we got married and knew very little of each other and got married and then got divorced very quickly. 8:57 [SPEAKER_01]: and I ended up with a daughter, no support from him or anything like that. 9:02 [SPEAKER_01]: And to just have making mistakes, lots of mistakes. 9:05 [SPEAKER_01]: I was just, and I became just completely dissociated. 9:09 [SPEAKER_01]: I just, I was not emotionally in there. 9:12 [SPEAKER_01]: I just felt like a slip fell in that I really couldn't connect with people. 9:17 [SPEAKER_01]: Very distant from my family for a very long period of time. 9:19 [SPEAKER_01]: He really did drive a 9:24 [SPEAKER_01]: was very effective at that. 9:26 [SPEAKER_01]: I went on like that for most of my 20 until I had two failed marriages actually and then started going back to school and got a job with a good company getting things we're starting to get better. 9:40 [SPEAKER_01]: I did connect with Gene and Gene and I had this realization that's the terrible thing that happened to both of us. 9:48 [SPEAKER_01]: And that made me, it's explained to me that I wasn't alone and that thought that I have in some of these memories that kept haunting me, that they're, it happened then. 9:59 [SPEAKER_01]: things really began to cook off in the 30s in my 30s, and I finished my degree and went on to my best master's degree. 10:06 [SPEAKER_01]: I got a really great job and was really taken off and a really great husband, one that I have nailed towards, and really couldn't have been better, and then Dean called me about joining her. 10:18 [SPEAKER_01]: in the law with her and Teresa. 10:21 [SPEAKER_01]: And then I said no, which I truly regret to this day, but I felt that tour for the first time things are going well. 10:31 [SPEAKER_01]: Finally, my life's going track. 10:33 [SPEAKER_01]: I can't do this. 10:34 [SPEAKER_01]: I can't do this. 10:34 [SPEAKER_01]: I can't do that. 10:35 [SPEAKER_01]: And we live all this and start digging all this stuff off. 10:38 [SPEAKER_01]: No, it's not the sooner I had it done that, but it was just if a Pandora's box had just been opened. 10:43 [SPEAKER_01]: And I just had, 10:45 [SPEAKER_01]: just debilitating panic attack and anxiety disorders if I could barely function and I had one of the top jobs at the Fortune 100 company. 10:56 [SPEAKER_01]: I went to therapy, I got a really great psychiatrist and started down a path of 10 years of taking in all the part. 11:02 [SPEAKER_01]: They always felt terrible about not standing up with pain and chorizo stuff and that I had abandoned them and not done what's right, 11:11 [SPEAKER_01]: me with when the keepers came along and the nabby and everything. 11:16 [SPEAKER_01]: I knew I had to and to what was right this time because I felt so bad about what happened to England, Theresa, during trial and how they had to go with the loan and it was really a good thing about us that knew what it happened and hadn't stood. 11:33 [SPEAKER_01]: First of all, I'm in about three or incredibly wonderful sweet, but during talented 11:41 [SPEAKER_01]: for the little bears out there. 11:43 [SPEAKER_01]: George, George Nip is like the best guy in the whole world, and he plays guitar, and he hung out with my knees who was trying to play guitar, and well, you had to jackpot on him. 11:59 [SPEAKER_01]: He's just a really wonderful guy. 12:00 [SPEAKER_01]: I think for all the terrible things that have to be in my life, that some of these guys opened, and this thing we're gonna keep you free here. 12:08 [SPEAKER_01]: Let me get you where you are. 12:10 [SPEAKER_01]: You're like so normal. 12:12 [SPEAKER_01]: You shouldn't be that. 12:14 [SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't say it. 12:15 [SPEAKER_00]: Something is very difficult. 12:18 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 12:18 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 12:19 [SPEAKER_01]: I can't say anything about bad. 12:20 [SPEAKER_01]: But I do want to ask you what nobody is going to call you ever. 12:26 [SPEAKER_01]: It better not. 12:27 [SPEAKER_01]: for turning down the request for me to get involved in that lawsuit because you had your own issues at that time. 12:38 [SPEAKER_01]: I do want to ask you why you did decide to be part of the papers beside the fact that I dragged you into it. 12:46 [SPEAKER_01]: Even in the middle of your arm surgery, I probably was too persistent, but can you talk a little bit about 12:53 [SPEAKER_01]: what made you decide to go ahead and be part of the series. 12:57 [SPEAKER_01]: I think when you have something like this in your path and you have an opportunity like this deeper, it's a gift. 13:04 [SPEAKER_01]: Because first of all, when you try to tell people and there's many times when I try to tell people about the abuse. 13:12 [SPEAKER_01]: Most people don't want to hear about it. 13:14 [SPEAKER_01]: You can see it in their eyes and they give you a look and it's oh you're going to tell me something horrible please don't. 13:19 [SPEAKER_01]: Please don't put that on me and it really is putting something on that. 13:23 [SPEAKER_01]: When you share with them something horrible that has happened to you, then you transfer to them and I have done that before the people end shop because I could see that it was going to hurt them. 13:36 [SPEAKER_01]: to do that. 13:37 [SPEAKER_01]: The keepers, people believe where we see all around when we hear people come out and share their abuse. 13:46 [SPEAKER_01]: How often times they're told, they're not believed. 13:49 [SPEAKER_01]: They're not credible. 13:51 [SPEAKER_01]: That didn't happen. 13:52 [SPEAKER_01]: All this kind of stuff. 13:53 [SPEAKER_01]: But suddenly we were believed. 13:55 [SPEAKER_01]: And so that is the greatest gift that could ever happen to someone like me and the others that have had that. 14:02 [SPEAKER_01]: Because we 14:04 [SPEAKER_01]: with the shame, with the stimulants, with the fact that we can't tell, yet we silently walk around wound it and not being able to bring it out and it's the only the light that can make it better for it's only brain telling our truth that can heal me because if you never say it, if you never bring it out then there's this big part of you that no one ever knows about. 14:28 [SPEAKER_01]: and you can't ever be fully you. 14:32 [SPEAKER_01]: That was the greatest gift of, and I was petrified the entire time, because of that shame, I've carried that shame my whole life, even though I didn't deserve to, even though it wasn't me, it doesn't matter. 14:48 [SPEAKER_01]: That's the thing that happens to us when someone like him puts that on her. 14:58 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's only, I think, it's certainly, I see time and again, that it's women of hours that finally let it go and finally are ready to and get rid of it. 15:09 [SPEAKER_01]: But it should, and then they go out pouring after people are so many women coming forward and praising me, it was almost painful. 15:18 [SPEAKER_01]: to have that happen because I didn't want accolades during anything for it. 15:23 [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't want to be praised for it. 15:25 [SPEAKER_01]: I just wanted it to be known and it to be better so that other people would come forward. 15:32 [SPEAKER_01]: And so that we all don't have to suffer and to have a time for something that wasn't our fault. 15:38 [SPEAKER_01]: It was the biggest gift. 15:40 [SPEAKER_01]: And I thank you, Jamma, for your part in bringing that all to. 15:45 [SPEAKER_01]: don't know who to thank for bringing you into my life. 15:48 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, if you enjoyed, I trust you implicitly. 15:51 [SPEAKER_01]: And I just, even though we don't see each other, as often as I would like to, you know, so close to you both. 15:57 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think it's just because we have a lot of, that we bonded and we understand each other, but I appreciate that. 16:05 [SPEAKER_03]: Lord, you've had a mediation settlement with the Archdiocese. 16:09 [SPEAKER_03]: And you've actually met with Bishop Lori. 16:12 [SPEAKER_03]: You tell me a little bit about that. 16:15 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I thought the mediation settlement was truly all. 16:18 [SPEAKER_01]: I really think there has to be a kind of way to do it in the way that they did it. 16:23 [SPEAKER_01]: First of all, there is no clergy member there. 16:27 [SPEAKER_01]: You go around, you tell your story, and they sit there very quietly, and they all are very quiet, looking and they sat on. 16:34 [SPEAKER_01]: And they're rather sorry, but they of course they don't admit that anything really happened. 16:39 [SPEAKER_01]: They won't do that. 16:40 [SPEAKER_01]: But they do all that, and it's lawyers, nothing but lawyers. 16:44 [SPEAKER_01]: And then after all that goes on, and then you separate into the other, this is the mediation part. 16:50 [SPEAKER_01]: And when you go into the other room, and they're very careful before you get to the mediation, carton, and secretion, then no one that a money can make this okay, money can't make this okay, all right, so they're very careful in saying that. 17:06 [SPEAKER_01]: And then at least with me, they came with their first offer was so rough bottom love. 17:13 [SPEAKER_01]: I sit and I screw the thing on the floor and I just said, you and help me. 17:19 [SPEAKER_01]: And the mediator, the judge, couldn't have been a word gentle, nice man. 17:24 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I didn't mean it for him for them to go through all those nice and flower language and then come back with something like that was just trillions and I made sure that they knew it but then we go five hours back and forth and just this incremental is where it's just it's just you just fight for every inch and of course our situation with the lawyer that we had he was just the worst. 17:48 [SPEAKER_01]: He just really was the worst. 17:50 [SPEAKER_01]: He was so disengaged. 17:51 [SPEAKER_01]: He never spoke up. 17:52 [SPEAKER_01]: He never did anything. 17:53 [SPEAKER_01]: He was, he's just wasn't. 17:55 [SPEAKER_01]: He didn't fight for a throttle at one point in time. 17:57 [SPEAKER_01]: I said to him, you are going to say something. 18:00 [SPEAKER_01]: You are going to say something on my behalf because he just said nothing. 18:04 [SPEAKER_01]: It was me speaking to them the entire time fighting with them. 18:07 [SPEAKER_01]: That and of itself I thought, the way that they could improve it first of all was to have a preacher. 18:14 [SPEAKER_01]: to have someone crease, they were sorry, we failed. 18:19 [SPEAKER_01]: This was wrong. 18:19 [SPEAKER_01]: This should never have had, but there is no one there. 18:21 [SPEAKER_01]: Because the only one they have was the supervisor of child services for whatever. 18:26 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's to me, which is not fine, but we ever go, we go five hours, we're into Friday night, rush hours, pick the clock, and it's just, it wears you down. 18:36 [SPEAKER_01]: that's always just to wear you down until you go stop. 18:39 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I felt very youth and abuse after that. 18:44 [SPEAKER_01]: I felt disrespected. 18:46 [SPEAKER_01]: I felt this is all just a number of skin for them. 18:49 [SPEAKER_01]: And they will just keep on keeping on until they wear you out. 18:54 [SPEAKER_01]: And which is what they did. 18:56 [SPEAKER_01]: And it really made me feel horrible after that with over. 18:59 [SPEAKER_01]: And then, Lori, everyone had gotten a letter that they have an opportunity to meet with Lori that they would like and no one did. 19:08 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I thought, yeah, I do want to talk to them. 19:13 [SPEAKER_01]: And that same person, what is her name? 19:16 [SPEAKER_01]: and other one that's the supervisor of the child services. 19:19 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, our protective Gary Borkart, Gary Borkart. 19:22 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, the one that's in the opposite, the one that's the opposite of clients. 19:27 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she was there with Lori and I. 19:29 [SPEAKER_01]: And we had a very long and contentious meeting. 19:33 [SPEAKER_01]: And I was angry. 19:35 [SPEAKER_01]: I met Lisa Torrent, I was very angry. 19:37 [SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't angry. 19:39 [SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't yelling at him, but I was really angry. 19:43 [SPEAKER_01]: And I had a lot to say. 19:44 [SPEAKER_01]: And the first thing I said was, I want you to look at me and I want you to look at me really closely. 19:51 [SPEAKER_01]: Because of this, I want you to have in your mind a face of a mouthful, because you've never seen one. 20:00 [SPEAKER_01]: I want you to have one in your opinion. 20:02 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want you to listen to me about my life and what has happened to me. 20:06 [SPEAKER_01]: And then so I just went off on the chair about everything that's happened. 20:11 [SPEAKER_01]: and everything he did. 20:12 [SPEAKER_01]: And then I knew his background of course and he had been doing the same thing in another archdiocese protecting the church and all. 20:21 [SPEAKER_01]: And he was whispering and saying what he's gonna say and then I said to him at one point when you could together with your bishop friend, they must be all high five in you. 20:33 [SPEAKER_01]: And he goes, what do you say to that? 20:35 [SPEAKER_01]: I said, because you caught off the cheek, 20:38 [SPEAKER_01]: You got off, though, cheap. 20:40 [SPEAKER_01]: They must be air, can you? 20:42 [SPEAKER_01]: How did you do it? 20:43 [SPEAKER_01]: How did you do it? 20:44 [SPEAKER_01]: And he just got really super red in the face and everything, because I can assure you, no one's high five in me and I got off. 20:53 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, you did, you really, and I said, you post someone. 20:58 [SPEAKER_01]: permitted a the most heinous act you can think of against you. 21:04 [SPEAKER_01]: And violently did you in the most heinous way. 21:07 [SPEAKER_01]: And then came to you and said here, no amount of money is going to make up for that. 21:12 [SPEAKER_01]: So we just want to say we're sorry. 21:15 [SPEAKER_01]: How would you feel about that? 21:17 [SPEAKER_01]: How would that make you feel? 21:18 [SPEAKER_01]: And he gets redder and redder. 21:21 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I mean, I said, I 21:27 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm still dealing with how I'm out of this. 21:31 [SPEAKER_01]: So I don't want to hear that crap from you. 21:34 [SPEAKER_01]: When you say that, money does that. 21:38 [SPEAKER_01]: It can make up. 21:40 [SPEAKER_01]: I spent 10 years going to count, 10 years paying a psychiatrist. 21:45 [SPEAKER_01]: I have screwed my daughter's life up in more ways than I can count. 21:49 [SPEAKER_01]: I could do something for her with the money that you would give me. 21:52 [SPEAKER_01]: But go into mediation and explosion 21:58 [SPEAKER_01]: every time. 22:00 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it said, I believe that if it was you in the state, you would feel very different. 22:05 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, somebody had done to you. 22:07 [SPEAKER_01]: What? 22:08 [SPEAKER_01]: That was done to us. 22:10 [SPEAKER_01]: That's drastic, great. 22:12 [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, rubbed on. 22:14 [SPEAKER_01]: In when we were teenagers. 22:16 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we're going on now, and we need to see what you want from me, because I was a teenager when this all happened. 22:24 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not special, but where are the exact same age? 22:28 [SPEAKER_01]: Adventure teenagers were a whole hell of a lot better than mine were. 22:33 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, you know, are you aware that you are the only radiation client that we know of that actually met with him? 22:42 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I know. 22:43 [SPEAKER_01]: And he couldn't bring for me to leave. 22:45 [SPEAKER_01]: But you know what, right now, I don't know if you realize yes, everybody just listen into this right now. 22:51 [SPEAKER_01]: They're all gone. 22:53 [SPEAKER_01]: You go, girl, or they're uploading you or clapping. 22:57 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure. 22:57 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't invite you to stay in it for everyone. 23:01 [SPEAKER_01]: Then, by the view, you keep your voice in the head. 23:04 [SPEAKER_01]: I should do it. 23:05 [SPEAKER_01]: Either thing I said to him was, 23:07 [SPEAKER_01]: I said, in a couple of months, a movie is coming now. 23:11 [SPEAKER_01]: A series is coming now. 23:13 [SPEAKER_01]: The keepers have heard about it. 23:15 [SPEAKER_01]: And this is in January, before we came out. 23:19 [SPEAKER_01]: And he goes, I think that's heard something. 23:22 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, you better get ready. 23:24 [SPEAKER_01]: And he says, what do you mean by that? 23:27 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, do you could be a hero? 23:29 [SPEAKER_01]: He goes, says, what does that mean? 23:32 [SPEAKER_01]: I said, you could release the document from last and get ahead of this. 23:38 [SPEAKER_01]: And so that when it hits you, it's not going to be as negative as it's surely going to be. 23:44 [SPEAKER_01]: I said, I'm in PR and marketing and I have defended my preparation from some really negative things. 23:52 [SPEAKER_01]: You're going to hit the wall when this thing comes out. 24:00 [SPEAKER_01]: I said, everybody, that is due to run for office. 24:05 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, you are being your manager. 24:07 [SPEAKER_01]: We did great. 24:09 [SPEAKER_01]: It's enough. 24:09 [SPEAKER_01]: It's too much. 24:10 [SPEAKER_01]: There's too much time like I didn't do art now. 24:13 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't have all that. 24:14 [SPEAKER_01]: We needed to get that out to him because he needed to. 24:18 [SPEAKER_01]: And so he needed to know it. 24:21 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sitting there in his little ivory tower all the way from the work they're doing down there with the mediation. 24:29 [SPEAKER_01]: He needs to know it. 24:31 [SPEAKER_01]: It made me feel better when I walked down. 24:34 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure I would have to. 24:36 [SPEAKER_03]: I had a previous conversation with Sean Kane from the Archdiocese. 24:41 [SPEAKER_03]: And one of the things that he said about the mediation process, 24:46 [SPEAKER_03]: But I had never heard before. 24:48 [SPEAKER_03]: So I'm wondering if you can tell me if this was true or not, is that they understand the financial strain that getting an attorney that they require for mediation? 25:00 [SPEAKER_03]: You had to have an attorney to enter into a mediation with them. 25:04 [SPEAKER_03]: He said that they give you the money separately from the settlement to pay for that attorney. 25:10 [SPEAKER_01]: Is that true? 25:15 [SPEAKER_03]: That's what I thought. 25:16 [SPEAKER_03]: Do you remember by chance the percentage that you have to pay the attorney out of the settlement? 25:21 [SPEAKER_01]: It's 29% and I remember that because it made me think that's almost a third. 25:27 [SPEAKER_03]: Which is it's a bunch of crap as well. 25:30 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, they don't pay for it outside and they give you two years of counseling. 25:35 [SPEAKER_01]: Either even if you need more, so I only give you two years of counseling. 25:39 [SPEAKER_01]: they won't be either is for any counseling that you had before, which is crazy because all of you that I've met have had to have therapy throughout your life because of what happened to you. 25:52 [SPEAKER_01]: Sure, not that proactive, which is wrong. 25:55 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's all the at the age that we finally got to this mediation. 26:00 [SPEAKER_01]: Of course, we've all had to have a thing before. 26:03 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, here's the 29.5%. 26:07 [SPEAKER_01]: There you go. 26:09 [SPEAKER_01]: The other thing I thought was really strange is that the archdiocese offers free counseling for as long as you need it, as long as you use their pastoral counselors, which is saying, okay, we're going to have the people that did this to you, counsel you. 26:26 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 26:27 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's really ridiculous. 26:29 [SPEAKER_01]: How do we even answer that again? 26:32 [SPEAKER_01]: Where are you now in your life? 26:35 [SPEAKER_01]: Can you share with us like anything? 26:37 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's not pretty good right now. 26:39 [SPEAKER_01]: I think the I think the keepers did me a lot of good. 26:43 [SPEAKER_01]: It really set me free in a lot of respect. 26:47 [SPEAKER_01]: And not the kind of person that I, and not looking, keeping up with everything that is half a church abuse related. 26:56 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't go delving for that all the time. 26:58 [SPEAKER_01]: I create a lot of more. 27:00 [SPEAKER_01]: I do that every day. 27:02 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm far more relaxed. 27:04 [SPEAKER_01]: and I feel like a wave has been lifted off of my shoulders by virtue of having this out and having it the story been told. 27:14 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's because what happens with these kind of situations that becomes a huge part of you and to have to hide it is like you're not really being you when that occurs and so it did be a huge favor by bringing it in the light. 27:29 [SPEAKER_01]: This is a personal request, but once this is posted on the out-of-the-shadows podcast page, would you be willing to send me some photos of your artwork so that other people can see what you're doing because I've had the privilege of receiving parts from you that you've created and you were here at my home and we sat, we drew and we sang, 27:59 [SPEAKER_01]: the gift that you give all of us, a mountain and a very show. 28:03 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if you could measure the mission photos and then I can post those. 28:08 [SPEAKER_01]: Are you selling any of your artwork? 28:10 [SPEAKER_01]: As you know, I might do it later on the year. 28:13 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just trying to get develop a muscle about it where I'm sitting down every day and doing it. 28:18 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm creating just a lot of pieces and then I'll see where I get. 28:24 [SPEAKER_01]: after that, but just for the joy of it, and the people miss that I get from it, and it makes me happy. 28:31 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a different retirement. 28:32 [SPEAKER_01]: Wonderful. 28:32 [SPEAKER_01]: I know what I always dreamed of doing. 28:35 [SPEAKER_01]: I always, when I started out life as an artist, and now I'm ending it up. 28:40 [SPEAKER_01]: It's fun. 28:41 [SPEAKER_01]: And I met your wonderful brother-in-law. 28:43 [SPEAKER_00]: He framed two of my paintings. 28:45 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no. 28:46 [SPEAKER_00]: That was nice. 28:47 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you. 28:48 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we're studio everybody. 28:49 [SPEAKER_01]: Wonderful. 28:50 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm glad you met him. 28:51 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and is there anything at all that you would like to say any message any words of wisdom, just sure and recommendation for anybody that might be less than me. 29:03 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think that when women step forward in these kind of situations, I mean, 29:08 [SPEAKER_01]: It is with a lot of pain and it is with a lot of, it takes a lot to get them there. 29:14 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm always, it's always so painful when people will say things like that never happens. 29:20 [SPEAKER_01]: Or why didn't you come forward with a long time ago and all this kind of stuff? 29:24 [SPEAKER_01]: It seems that they, when all the kindness and love that it's been shown to all of us through the keepers, I hope that people will keep that in their mind when they hear of other people. 29:36 [SPEAKER_01]: coming forward and extend that thing, love to them because it's a scary and shameful thing that people have to go through in order to the light and so that's what I would say. 30:33 [UNKNOWN]: Thank you.
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